Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for June 27, 2009

Transcript:

super-fun-pak comix spooky ghost story woman: whew! sure was nice of the ghost of james cann to help fix our tire on that lonely stretch of road! good lord! there's james caan! man: so, he's not dead! that means... woman: um... man: what, exactly? small ragtag group of world war ii soldiers soldier 1: we're separated from our outfit! it's just me, johnny jones... and leroy black... and "mick" o'brien... ...and running-wolf, "brooklyn" goldberg, "gay" russ... then there's "cannoli" spano... "lady" smith, "mex" gonzalez "old" miles... cont'd the epic/brutal report kid 1: the chimp vacuums are playing kelly's! kid 2 and 3: epic! kid 1: but there's a $10 cover! kid 2: brutal! kid 3: heinous! sorry. "brutal" is so 2007. marital mirth husband: i suppose we should get married. my god, i loathe and resent you. well, that sucked. small ragtag group of world war ii soldiers cont'd oop: ...and of course "chinaman" the chinaman... four-eyes nerdface amish jed... ...and "baby" jenkins, district court judge neumann "hobo clown" keane... ..."rich guy" von hoppington, "bessie," "hippie" johnson, and... cont'd... uncle cap'n's puzzle pontoon cap'n: okay, kids, here's a fun puzzle for ya! yer gonna need a pencil and a $50 filing fee. fun ? puzzling let's say there's a guy on tennessee's death row because he's shooting his drug dealer (who happened to have cheated him one too many goddamn times). how would you file a habeas corpus petition in federal court to stay the execution? write your entry in the form of a habeas corpus petition. type up your petition, and send four copies to: uncle cap'n c/a bend mountain corr. fac. horrace, tn dweeb: how's this, uncle cap'n? i challenged the ballistics anlysis that... cap'n: what part of "four copies" didn't you understand? i'm serious, you brats! smock the winner gets a haircut, a pepsi bottle half-filled with prison hooch, and three cans of mackerel. enter now, twerps.