Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for March 19, 2010

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling The scientific community has been turned on its ear by the startling new theory of Brendan Flynn, aged 8, of Tampa, Fla., that millions of years ago, TYRANNOSAURUS REX EXISTED ON SATURN! Flynn reasons that the most awesome dinosaur must have lived on everybody's favorite planet, and science has been unable to refute that logic. Here is a painstakingly accurate reconstruction of what it may have been like when there were... T-REXES ON SATURN! A SCIENTIFIC REENACTMENT Org: Okay, Org! We're going to war against the tyrannosaurus rexes! Org: Yeah! Flynn also hypothesizes that cavemen lived on Saturn as well. Yes, cavemen! Caveman: Let's get ready! Those T-Rexes could attack at any time! Machine guns, carved from wood Caveman: NOOO! It got Org! SNAP T-Rexes liked eating caveman heads. Caveman: Now you're going to get it, T-Rexes! Caveman: Oh, no! Martians are joining the fight! Yes, martians lived on Saturn. They still do! Scientists are already destroying decades of research, as they come to grips with the staggering implications of Flynn's momentous theories. Also, Big Foot is real. MUSEUM and he's a ghost. Scientist: ARGHH!