Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for December 24, 2010

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug's Super-Fun-Pak Comix Edited by Ruben Bolling The Jew That Saved Christmas Elf: Oh, no! Chistmas will be canceled! Irv: Don't worry! I've got an idea! Santa Claus: Irv? Elf: Yay! Chinese food! Irv: Then, a movie! Could be worse! Hates-Crime Man Hates-Crime Man: I hate crime so much, this outfit isn't enough! I'll build a high-tech underground headquarters! Computer: Oh, baby! Oo! Right there! Children-Acting-Like-Adults Funnies Boy #1: I'm gonna go over there and call him out! Boy #2: You are NOT going over there, and you know it! Boy #1: I just love her so much! SOB Boy #2: SIGH Percival Dunwoody, Idiot Time Traveler From 1909 Manhattan, 1626 White Man: So we'll buy this island for these beads. Native American: O.K. White Man: Here you go... Percival: Ahem! I'm here to make a BETTER offer! Percival: I'LL trade you this butter churn for those beads! White Man: Deal! Various-Organisms-Man Last week - In a bizarre accident, shy science student Cory Corrison was bitten by a radioactive wallaby, vole, toad, Ryan Seacrest, and a particularly strong chinchilla! Various Organisms Man: Hold, thief! I have the combined powers of a walla... Man: Get lost! OOF! The Whoopee Can! FOOL YOUR FRIENDS BRRT TRICK YOUR TEACHERS EAT THE CONTENTS OF THIS CAN, and within minutes, your rectum will produce the most realistic "fart" sounds you ever heard! $5.95 Yes, rush me a Whoopee Can! Cash is enclosed! I'd like a Whoopee Can, but there's no rush, as I feel ambivalent about the whole thing. I would potentially order a Whoopee Can, but I've never seen this advertisement, so I never found out about it. Perhaps in the future, if I came across this advertisement, I will order one. I have not yet been born, so I am incapable of ordering a Whoopee Can. I wish I could order a Whoopee Can, but I'm currently being held for ransom. I've barely loosened my ropes in order to send this form; please do not tell my captors. I will not order a Whoopee Can. Instead, I would like to send you the complete works of P.G. Wodehouse (Encl.) Sometimes, late at night, when all the world is aslumber I can hear the...(continued in the next advertisement) Cut out and send to: Whoopee Can! Whoopee Novelty, LLC 1471 Charging$5.95foracanofbeans Ave. Whoopee, WH