Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 04, 2011
January 28, 2011
February 11, 2011
Transcript:
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Did You Know? This week -- The Super Bowl Yes, the Super Bowl is the Super Bowl of Super Bowls! So, of course, this will be the Super Bowl of compilations of fun facts about the Super Bowl! This gripping contest of gridiron greats is designed to distract you from the fact that you are politically and economically oppressed and exploited! Vince Lombardi made football history in Super Bowl II when he sneezed, burped and passed gas at the same time! Chuck Winston, of Carmel, Ind., insists that very tight pants and reaching into crotches are necessary parts of the sport, and have nothing to do with homoeroticism! TAXPAYER-FUNDED FUN Most attendees write off the cost as a business expense, so YOU'RE paying to stage the event! Thanks! Super Bowl Sunday is also known as the "Super Bowl" of ADVERTISING, WINTER GRILLING and ALCOHOL-RELATED TRAFFIC FATALITIES! At stake: Members of the winning team each receive $90,000, a ring, and criminal immunity for one rape! Daniel Beiner, of Virginia Beach, Va., once watched the Super Bowl SOBER, and reports that much of the second-half broadcast is actually dead air and footage of chimps on tricycles! Joe Montana is blamed for plumbing problems in San Francisco when, at halftime in Super Bowl XIX, he flushed two million toilets in the area!
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tecumseh18 almost 14 years ago
What is this “Super Bowl” you speak of? If you’re going spoof football, why not do something on “The Big Game”? The hoopla around that is ripe for a takedown.
junco49 almost 14 years ago
Packers 31-24, I’ll PROBABLY be elsewhere. But then, you never know.
Tommy1733 almost 14 years ago
But the spoof is not at all on football. as always, TDB mocks our culture.
starlilies almost 14 years ago
@ junco49 - actually, I have Packers at 35-24, so we’re on the same wavelength… ;)
seablood almost 14 years ago
“Bread and Circuses —a Roman method of crowd control, which eventually stopped working just before the whole culture collapsed, drowning in its own sewage.
seablood almost 14 years ago
by the way, the “Joe Montana” one was true.
ickymungmung almost 14 years ago
Fact: God declines to honor the prayers of one NFL team every Super Bowl game!
papabotts almost 14 years ago
The only country man enough to have human bullfighting! Of course I speak of congress/most overemotional politico-debate, not football.
papabotts almost 14 years ago
Dead air and chimpson cycles? He must have accidentally changed the channel over to c-span or Faux-Nudes, (or RedEye, the best show on Faux-nudes.)
BrianCrook almost 14 years ago
Impressively close, Junco & Lilies. I didn’t watch and found out the score this morning as the T.S.A. agents argued about the game. I agree w/ Tom: It, like all of t.v., is designed by the wealthy to distract the working class from demanding social equality and an end to the yawning gap between rich & the rest of us.
fritzoid Premium Member almost 14 years ago
There’s a song by Timbuk3 called “Just Another Movie” which opens with
Presidential elections Are planned distractions To draw attention from the action behind the scenes. Like a game of chess When the house is a mess, Or a petty money squabble When your marriage is in trouble, Or a football game when there’s rioting in the streets.
This song was written before Super Bowl XXIII in 1989, when the news coverage from Miami centered more on the upcoming Bengals/Niners game than on the race riots after a policeman shot a Hispanic motorcyclist in the head…