Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for March 25, 2011

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug's Super-Fun-Pak Comix Edited by Ruben Bolling Recap Man Recap Man: So your plan is to use your army of cyborgs to destroy middle city?! Robot: Yes, yes! But I'll never GET TO IT if you keep recapping the plot in the first panel!! Recap Man: Let me get this straight... Next - RECAP!! Three-Act Screenplay Structure Funnies Man: I want a cookie! Man: Oh, no! I'll never get it! TRIP Man: No, wait! I got it! Ghost of James Caan James Caan Ghost: Son, you don't understand! Director: Cut! Director: Ghost of James Caan, you're just not right for the part. James Caan Ghost: It's because I'm a ghost, isn't it? Director: See if the actual James Caan is available. Aide: He is. Fabulous Guy, In A Moment of Reflection Man: Sure, there are lots of "fabulous guys" out there... Man: But I'm different. I'm deep. Special. UNIQUE! Man #2: This isn't a mirror, jerkoff. Man: Oh sorry. Percival Dunwoody, Idiot Time Traveler From 1909 Percival: Your 21st century is so progressive! Percival: It's even illegal to have Norwegian slaves! Man: It's NEVER been legal to have Norwegian slaves! Percival: Right. I have to go back to 1909... If you like the Whoopee Cushion, you'll love... the Whoopee Whoopi! $5.95 Before your friends sits down, slip Whoopi Goldberg on his choir, and laugh at the hilarious sounds that ensue! - Yes, rush me a Whoopee Whoopi! Check or money order is enclosed! - No, do not send me a Whoopee Whoopi. - Why on earth would Whoopi Goldberg agree to this? She's a talented actress with a successful television show. - It is against my religion to check all boxes in advertising forms, so please take my silence as a binding agreement to purchase a Whoopee Whoopi, and send me one immediately, C.O.D. - Is Meredith Vieira available? - I am Whoopi Goldberg, and I can tell you right now I never agreed to this, honey. - I would prefer to go to Whoopi Goldberg's house and have her sit on me. Check or money order is enclosed. CUT OUT AND SEND TO: Whoopee Whoopi c/o Whoopee Novelty, LLC WABC Television New York, NY Upon Ms. Goldberg's arrival, please have a veggie platter, two (2) cans of bacon ranch Pringles, and six (6) bottles of Perrier ready. No exceptions or substitutions (See rider.)