Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for October 07, 2011

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Governor Rick Science Hick starring Governor Rick Perry Science is a tricky devil... Ya gotta know which kinds of science to agree with, and which to yell at! Big Pharma NERREX Rick: They do science right! They invent stuff that we put in our bodies, and that makes MONEY! And campaign donations! Good work, boys. Climatology Rick: Buncha panty-waisted nitwits. A couple of hot days, and they're all in a panic talkin' about carbon emissions an' such! Bad fer bidness. Science History Note Don't forget: Like today's global warming skeptics, GALILEO had to go against the consensus of the powerful scientists of his day, like the POPE! Oil Science Rick: The best scientists of all! They can drill down for miles and extract OIL up to 9,000 years old! Evolutionism Rick: These fruitcakes want a monopoly on what we teach our kids. I say teach 'em creationism too, and they're smart enough to figger out what's what! Social Science Rick: The worst of the bunch! They'll point to the fact that abstinence-only education statistically leads to higher teen pregnancy rates. Woman: How about also giving information about birth control, and "Teaching the Controversy"? Rick: SHUT YER PIE HOLE, PENCIL-NECK! I'm talkin' 'bout SCIENCE to AMERICANS! END NEXT on Governor Rick, Science Hick Geology or, Naming Rocks Rick: I like to give 'em COLORFUL names!