Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for July 20, 2012

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug's Super-Fun-Pak Comix Edited by Ruben Bolling Percival Dunwoody, Idiot Time Traveler From 1909 1909 Percival: You, boy! Deposit this $100 in a bank account! Hurry! 2012 Good day. I believe I have an account here? Man: Yes. Man: Um, sir...it's a non-interest bearing account, so it's STILL $100! Percival: Ah, but as a customer, it is my right to use your lavatory! Darthfield John: Darthfield, which tie should I wear on my date? Darthvader: Does either have a superlaser powerful enough to destroy a planet? John: No... Darthfield: This grows tiresome. John: URK Guy Walks Into A Bar GYM Guy: This isn't a BAR! How can THIS be funny?! BONK! Man: Ha-ha! You walked into a bar! Superhero Fantasies For The Middle-Aged Man: So...angry...ARR RIPP RRRIPPP Man: ARRRR!! THERE! Dear Sports Editor: I believe it obvious that your baseball stan could easily include Physics For The Ladies Woman #1: ...and a side of fries and an ice cream sundae. Woman #2: Do you know how much WEIGHT you will gain? Woman: And hold the Higgs Bosons. Woman #2: Brilliant! ADVERTISEMENT Hey, Kids!! Sell! And win fabulous prizes! Imaginary Car Robot Can Opener Certain Things JOIN the Junior Sales League of America for FREE! THEN: For only $19.95 up front, WE SEND YOU THE SALES KIT! It makes selling EASY, and you can win prizes you've only dreamed of! WHAT DO YOU SELL? Sales kits for the Junior Sales League of America!! EVERY KID wants one because EVERY KID wants swell prizes! We'll send you 10 copies of this very advertisement. THE PRIZES WILL ROLL IN! Win a Real Submarine! Sleeps Five! Selling is EASY and FUN because kids are SUCKERS! They'll do ANYTHING for a chance to win even the most obviously fake JUNK prizes! Sell two kits, and win this neat-o JET PACK! Use it to fly to school! Kids are such MORONIC STOOGES, you'll win tons of cool prizes! Like this Mystery Box!! Send to JSLA, P.O. Box 19, NY, NY