Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for December 13, 2013
Transcript:
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Chagrin Falls "In The Trenches" Woman: So, I'm visiting my sister for Christmas, and then I'm going to have a New Year's party. Mother: Sounds like you'll be having two happy holidays! Daughter: Mom! Mother: Oh, no! I said the phrase. OPEN THE DOORS, OR THEY'LL BREAK THEM DOWN! Cliff: Set up at the far wall! Keep the tree out of the shot! And get some of the less fat kids behind me. BAM Cliff: Cliff Bottoms, reporting for FOX News from the sleepy hamlet of Chagrin Falls, where the townsfolk are forbidden to say, "Merry Christmas!" Mother: Actually, we a... FOX NEWS WAR ON CHRISTMAS Cliff: This middle school "Holiday" party is an orgy of atheistic rules. The Christmas tree is called a "Godless Greenery," and children are forced to wear "Solstice Sarongs!" FOX NEWS CHRISTIANS FED TO Cliff: Never has it been more important to buy my book, just $29.99 at fine bookstores near you. Back to you, Evan. And...Merry Christmas! FOX NEWS CLIFF BOTTOMS My Fight to Save Christ and All That You Hold Dear Cliff: Come on, if we hurry, we can catch the 4:17. Mother: Should we contact them and let them know that we're not required to say "Happy Ho..." Woman: DON'T SAY IT! THEY'LL COME BACK!
As a god fearing nation we need to come up with some new christmas character. Maybe we could steal some old Dutch folklore character to bring the “true meaning of christmas” to all of the ignorant pagans out there.