Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for July 28, 2015

She gets and keeps him on his toes….

Puts a whole new meaning to hammer toe…

@BevAnd they don’t even give directions for use.

Shirley??!!! You jest!!

Shirley ain’t the swiftest booby-trapper.The spring for the trap actually acts as a counterweight to slow the drop of the hammer.

@ Bev:The ads don’t say “Buy toilet paper”; the ads say “Our brand is the best kind, so buy ours.”

This was just an early prototype trap, She now has gone into business in S. Ballard as Shirley’s Tender Traps and Trebuchets that features a wide variety of Hubby Attention Getters, Solicitor Discouragers, and Trash Disposal Units.

I hear she’s captured a lot of business and launched an advertising campaign guaranteed to catapult her to fame.

He thinks….“Curses, I have been bested by one of her more sinister traps……but little does she know that I have set a trap for her….A Tender Trap……you remember that gigantic hand from the Jackass movies? I have it set up to come at her….FROM BEHIND!!!! It will be the biggest butt slap ever…..WHAHHHAHAHHAHAHA!”

It would have hurt more if Shirley had put the spring on the other side of the handle.

innocuous things scattered on the stairs are much more effective. fortunately i have gotten wise to that little trick…

Gordon needs to visit Shirley’s TT and T, ‘cause that pathetic excuse for a trap ain’t foolin’ no squirrels.

Shirley’s best friend Louise, failed to read the instructions again,

Apparently Shirley is doing land-office business, Good for Shirley, now maybe she can get a new couch, You know the one that was featured in Ballard Life and Proctology Review.

Shirley also carries a full line of rubber tipped darts, She will be most happy to demonstrate them for you. $1.42 each or 3 for $6.57.

“Ouch!”

I would hate to see Shirley’s bigger traps! Acme anvil?good Afternoon, Ballard Dears.

Bev, have you ever squeezed the Charmaine, or had fluffy white Persian kittens roll your TP down the stairs? Surely you watch those ads before going out to buy your toilet paper.Or do you get whatever is on sale, like me?