Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for November 24, 2017

This is why dinner with Uncle Carl is always an adventure.

Why I’m alone during the holidays.

(not really).

Carl needs plenty of eating space. Everyone says so.

Thanksgiving comes around only once a year. So Carl decided to make the most of it.

Something like my dog. Eating is essential to survival, you know.

That’s why they put Carl at the kids table…and let the kids move up.

Yeah… but for big holidays, now that the former kids are having kids, we always have to set up at least three tables these days….

Grown-ups, kids, and Uncle Carl.

If there are more than 14 grown-ups, first Lincoln is sent to sit at the kids table, being only 22 3/4, and then we send Ida May (she doesn’t notice, cos she hasn’t been set quite right since the accident.)

And if that makes the kids table too crowded, one or two still have to go sit with Uncle Carl.

They dare each other… or one of the boys will volunteer, to impress a girl cousin with his bravery.

When Byron was a kid he liked to eat there, anyway…

Uncle Carl never told him not to play with his mashed potatoes…

and they had cool sword fights with the butter knives.

But now Bryon’s own twin daughters are 5 and a half …

and are never allowed that experience.

This picture of Carl was taken, yesterday, at the Tiki Thanksgiving Turkey & Yak Rib Extravaganza Dinner.

The reason for his slightly psychotic, sated smile can perhaps be explained by his colossal consumption of cocktails, concocted with cranberries, currants, and cognac.

More like a “frenzy”!

Uncle Carl always needs extra napkins. and the garden hose.

Thats my kind of appetite. Keep your fingers away from my plate while I’m eating.

Best to put Carl’s table in the bath tub. Easier to clean up afterwards.

“Hey, has anybody seen little Kevin? Or Scooter? Or Aunt Lettie’s Hummels? Or that after-dinner mint? Oh, here it is, hey Carl!…”

He’s like a dog afraid another dog will steal his meal.

I would suggest they invest in a pig trough, but I’m here so late today, that no one will read this anyway…………………..