Barney & Clyde by Gene Weingarten; Dan Weingarten & David Clark for September 26, 2024

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    Yakety Sax  2 months ago

    Fired By Presidential Decree

    I am working at a call center for an ISP on a Sunday. A caller is having internet issues and after troubleshooting we’ve established they will need a technician.

    Me: “The earliest slot I can get for you is tomorrow, between 12 PM and 2 PM.”

    Caller: “No! You have to fix my internet before Monday morning! It’s affecting my business!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but that really is the earliest slot we have available for a tech—”

    Caller: “—Are you listening? No! They need to come today! Before Monday morning! I’m going to lose millions of dollars if it isn’t working when the stock markets open on Monday! If you can’t make it happen, get me a manager!”

    I get the caller a manager and they go through the same conversation until the caller asks for my manager’s manager. When my manager tells the caller that’s as high as he can go, the caller hangs up and calls back fifteen minutes later.

    They call back multiple times every hour making the same demands and promising to keep calling and cursing and hurling abuse until their demands are met. Our company president gets wind of this caller and actually listens to one of the calls – the first time I can recall him ever doing that.

    President: “When he calls back tell him that the president of the company himself will call back on Monday morning and to not call back for the rest of the day.”

    That actually worked! I was told later that the president called the customer as promised, and said the following words:

    President: “Please take note that there will be no technician and no further bills, we are waiving all current charges and zeroing out your account and will no longer be providing you service based on your unacceptable behavior towards our employees, have a nice day.”

    And with that, he hangs up and personally closes the customer’s account.

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    uniquename  2 months ago

    Now you use those same skills on a different field.

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    ChessPirate  2 months ago

    “The Art of the Steal… er, Deal…”

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    Sir Isaac  2 months ago

    My sister-in-law the nurse said they used to look forward to the drug sales rep because he’d bring food for the office or at least a carrot cake, plus those fancy ball point pens.

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    ferddo  2 months ago

    I’ve been scolded by aggressive salesmen for not cooperating (by buying their product)…

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