Yesterday I purchased a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, who weighs 191lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?
So, because I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time; but I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her it was essentially a Perfect Diet and the way it works is, you load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard…
Yesterday I purchased a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, who weighs 191lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?
So, because I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time; but I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her it was essentially a Perfect Diet and the way it works is, you load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard…