Betty by Gary Delainey and Gerry Rasmussen for February 25, 2021

You can always pay extra for express shipping…

Quit messing with the plan, woman.

As a man, the more I read Betty, the more normal I realize I am.

Quit worrying, Betty. He’s saving a lot of money for you to spend.

I treat errands like a mission to be accomplished quickly and efficiently, even time myself

For me growing up “shopping” in the way it seemed to me was spending a lot of time looking at things you wanted, but couldn’t afford or were never going to get for some other reason. That seemed like some sort of torture to me, so I never really liked it. As I’ve gotten older and could afford more stuff – shopping seemed like a way to allow marketeers to have more access to me – who inevitably annoy me with things I don’t care about. There are relatively few places that I ever physically “browsed” in – and most of them were places that got to know me and recognized they should leave me alone until I had some sort of question.

Stores used to hire experts who helped them devise ways to keep shoppers in the store longer. I guess the idea was that the longer you were there the more likely you’d find something else to buy. Now when I fill out the survey on the receipt I tell them “I like that I can go in, find what I want, pay and get right back out”.

The urgency to get home and the urgency you have when you’re home.. at the risk of sounding 2020 redundant you’ll urgently need toilet paper when you’re out of it.

So, that’s what it’s all about. Maybe I don’t want to marry him after all. I feel more of a sense of urgency to go OUT shopping …

I used to enjoy browsing in hardware and electronics stores, but since the Covid guilt trip I only shop for groceries and underwear…