Bound and Gagged by Dana Summers for September 05, 2013

Last I heard, prunes aren’t a veggie. They’re a dehydrated fruit.

They are so a veggie if you Google “vegetables definition”NounA plant or part of a plant used as food, typically as accompaniment to meat or fish, such as a cabbage, potato, carrot, or bean.

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Prunes are dried plums. They are a fruit.

They’re grapes now.

Sort of a more sophisticated version the 60s Funny Face drinks. “Hi, I’m Goofy Grape — just why-they-call-me-goofy, I don’t know. ha he ho he he I’m one of the new Funny Face drinks from Piiilllsbury.” Jolly Olly Orange, Lefty Lemon, Choo-choo Cherry, Freckle-face Strawberry. Cripes, what effective advertising. It still rattles in my head!

Why they’re jes lookin’ plum terrific.

“Warrior’s drink,” -Lt. Worf

they’ll get better results by eating their dates

They’re a little known cure for the common cold – just drink 1 quart of prune juice every morning, you won’t dare sneeze or cough for the whole day!

Even prunes are smart enough to not inject poison into their faces in an effort to look “better”.

The Supreme Court has ruled unanimously that a tomato is a vegetable: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nix_v._Hedden