Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for May 19, 2012

Dorkons are the way to go!

There’s 20% fewer individual probes, but each probe is longer. The Dorkons are crooks, and have already been reported to Galactic Trade Commission.

I’m told that the Dorkons are THE prime probers in this galaxy. They’re booked up to the end of the next millennium, so if you want to be probed, you should put your name down NOW.

Hm it seems these abductions happen with such frequency that Brewster has a customer’s club card with the Dorkons!

The Dorkons are better than the Vogons, at least.

They gave me glossy pictures of my colonoscopy!…sort of like vacation snap shots,

Well, now we know: “dorks” is short for “Dorkon abductees”.

It’s not the frequency of the probing so much as the location, depth and duration that worries me.

That’s just because with him, they quit wasting their time with the mind probes.

Pam always looks good, but she could use a smile once in a while.

I tried calling, got “All of our representatives are currently probing other customers…..”

I dunno. Seems to me if you’re going to go to all the trouble of getting abducted, you might as well get the full probing package while you’re there.

Oh, man! Brewster is perfect for this endorsement.Nice commercial, but I think the Dorkan should smile a bit more.

The 20% that got removed from probing adds an equivalent amount to the Cool factor.

Don’t be fooled! Dorkons are IRS agents in disguise.

20% less? Does he get to choose which 20% of his body doesn’t get probed? Thoughts?

But if they erase his mind after each abduction, how would he know who abducts him? I sense Brewster is not being 100% honest. But, it is a commercial.

Are we sure about that. They do botch the mind wipes.