Close to Home by John McPherson for April 19, 2023

go to the zoo and pick a giraffe! Why the fuss with humans to begin with!?

Vital sucktistics.

Looks like bleeb escaped Dalcon???

why’s his two fangs on one side of his mouth??

I make all sorts of spelling and grammatical misteaks. I have blood typeO.

Get back to Sesame Street, Count… she’s not your type!

Don’t make me come over there with a stake… or two, two stakes… ah-ah!

Does she know that she’s on this website?

I’m Joe Hicky, I vant to bite your neck!

Blah blah blah! If he wanted, he could bite anywhere he chooses!

Wow. That there is a fangy vamp-dude.

Wait, are people signing up to be bitten by a vampire?

I guess that I can understand Bleeb’s logic. He doesn’t have a neck, so he has little to fear from the vampire who just might act as a bird dog and lead him to some excellent observational possibilities.

Women that desperate for a bloodsucker?

Say it like Bella. “I’d looooove to bite yourrrrrr neck!

He may have a hard time getting a match – what with both fangs on the same side. :)

I don’t know if I like the type of people Bleeb has been hanging out with lately.

Do vampires drink fish blood? What if he is being “catfished?”

Even non-entities can find some poor shmuck.

What’s wrong with this picture? The Matched wife-to-be is the Blood Sucker is what’s wrong with this picture…

That should be called victimmatch.com

We all know 8" on a dating website is more like 5" or 6" at best!