Close to Home by John McPherson for December 25, 2023

It’s Christmas Day and I’m fresh out of funny, so here’s Bleeb’s Christmas poem from the year 2020.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and Bleeb’s on the beat, not skulkin’ ‘round your legs, or down at your feet.

He’s up north with Ol’ Santa, helping him pack, and he’s taking a break for his “favorite snack”…

(…and in case you was wonderin’… it’s a Coke and Jack!)

Saint Nick’s made his plan, and it unfurls, it’s to deliver great gifts for good boys and girls.

As the elves load his sleigh, Saint Nick takes a snooze, while Bleeb checks the house, still looking for booze.

A nap is required, for a long Christmas flight, if Santa is rested, good kids will delight.

While Santa naps, Bleeb gets a buzz on, and Santa dreams of out-racing Amazon.

(… take that Bezos)

The sleigh is all ready, Mrs. Claus wakes up Santa, to start his long trek with a stop in Atlanta!

(‘cause it’s a hub!)

For some reason there seems, to be a small quandary, Bleeb is not ready, he’s asleep on their laundry.

Santa whistles for Bleeb to get up and get going, Bleeb springs to his feet with a powerful “BOING!”

Santa shouts: “C’mon Bleeb, don’t make us late, we have to get flying and the reindeer won’t wait!

Now get up on ol’ Rudolph and let us take flight, I have to be done with this in one night”.

So away they all flew, in just a blink, and Saint Nick was heard yelling: “WHAT THE HECK IS THAT STINK… HAVE YOU BEEN IMBIBING IN A WHOLE BUNCH OF DRINK?!!

Off in the distance, but clean out of sight, Bleeb’s heard exclaiming:

“IT’S NOT ME!” (BURRRRRRRRRP)

“Okay… maybe you’re right“

Merry Christmas to all, … and my annual apologies to McPherson and Bleeb. ㋡

— Dobie