Close to Home by John McPherson for February 11, 2025

Looks like E I E I C Doc. Could I be loosing vision in my right eye

Sounds like one of those Government acronyms. “I’m with the E.I.E.I.O. . I’m going to have to ask you to accompany me to our headquarters.”

“Old MacDonald has OCD…

… EE II O”

The letters continue to spell “with a bark bark here and a bark bark there.”

My dad, a real joker, started working in an office building a good few years back. The different floors were known by different letters of the alphabet and the different rooms were known by different numbers. The individual rooms were known by their floor letter and number so the third room on the third floor would have been room 3C. There were 7 floors and floor E had 10 rooms. There was a sign at the entrance to floor E saying "Rooms E1 – E10. My dad stuck a piece of paper just above it saying “old Mc Donald had a farm”.

As far as Ophthalmologists go, it’s “E I E I O U”.

Ha! He brought his farm animals along.

Not a good place to be standing, Bleeb!

With an eye chart like that who would need glasses?

Mr McDonald, I have to ask you, next time you come for an appointment, can you please leave the animals home? I had to call the janitor and he had to clean up the elevator and a trail they left behind…..

My last eye exam while waiting for the optometrist to come in, I got up, read and memorized the small print on the bottom of the eye chart. “Licensed by eSee Acuity to Greene Vision Group.”

When the optometrist asked me to read the smallest line I could see, I stated “Licensed by eSee Acuity to Greene Vision Group.” She looked at me and asked where I saw that. I advised it was the small print on the bottom of the chart. She got up, went to the chart, read what I had said and looked at me in astonishment. “You can read that” she asked. I advised her that yes I could read that, from two feet away when she was not in the room yet. She laughed and we went on with the exam.

Reminds me of a GEICO ad from a few years ago.

It’s not illegal to read from right to left….yet.

He’s getting an “I” exam.

“and next let’s see how well the chicken can do…”

I’m guessing he nailed his eye test though.

E, I, …….that’s not how you spell pharm.

No fair, he memorized the chart.