Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for October 07, 2012
Transcript:
Danae: Hey, Jeffrey... can you help me with some fact-checking for my school report? Jeffrey: Sure... I'll do my best. Danae: Ok, first I need to get a base line... Today is Sunday, right? Jeffrey: Uh... yes, that is a fact. Danae: Next... Butterflies fly, but are not made of butter, right? Jeffrey: *giggle* Right. Danae: Next... The sun rises in the east and goes down in the west, right? Jeffrey: Well, actually... it's not the sun that's moving. The rotation of the earth creates an illusion of the sun going up and down on the horizon, so, factally, the answer is no. Does that help? Danae: Yep. Thanks... so my research, backed by extensive fact-checking, proves conclusively that boys are super-dweebs with the power to suck the romance out of anything. Teacher: Not to self: no more oral reports.
pouncingtiger over 12 years ago
Moral: Girls just want a âyes boyâ. Like Republicans, they are not interested in facts.
i_am_the_jam over 12 years ago
Since when did she care about romance?
Vonne Anton over 12 years ago
Look up into the skyâŠsee all those romantic twinkly bits? Theyâre actually flaming cauldrons of nuclear hellâŠgive me a smooch, sugar-hips?
alcors3 over 12 years ago
Agnes in the mix could be interesting too.
roctor over 12 years ago
Never thought about butterflies being made out of butter.Thanks Wiley.
WCLamb over 12 years ago
@JohnnyDiego âThe other day someone actually told me the sun was a star and did I ever laugh.How can anyone be so dumb?â
Yes, it is rather dumb to laugh at a statement like that.Open your mind!
thetraveller4 over 12 years ago
Trio from hell: Calvin, Danae, and LioâŠ
The Old Wolf over 12 years ago
I have a hard time imagining what Danae would grow up to be. Leona Helmsley, perhaps?
freeholder1 over 12 years ago
Guys need to read more Harlequin to understand that women will always fall for guys who look like Fabio and secretly like Reese Witherspoon movies and fine wines. In other words, that gay guy from My Best Friendâs Wedding.
vwdualnomand over 12 years ago
just like that book, men are from mars, and women are from venus.
heyeron over 12 years ago
@ âThe J.A.M.â â precisely what I was thinking!
Neat '33 over 12 years ago
Although sheâs a little young, give her afew years and then pair her off with Eno !!!
Fan oâ Lio. over 12 years ago
Iâve heard of butterflies, dragon flies, horse flies, fruit flies and button flies. How many more are there?
Dtroutma over 12 years ago
Perhaps the most hilarious scene in perhaps the worst âwar movieâ ever made was at the end of âThe Green Beretsâ when John Wayne and the little Vietnamese kid are at Da Nang, watching the sun set over the ocean horizon: IN THE EAST!
We who were treated to an exclusive premier of the movie at Ft. Benning had been laughing through most of the movie, oh, it was sooooo bad, but that scene was the real âkickerâ!!
Sadly Danae, it is the fact âlittle boysâ pump romance INTO war, that sucks intelligence from the human mind, and spirit.
Ernest Lemmingway over 12 years ago
Reminds me of the bell jar experiment from high school. Where the teacher put a ringing bell in a jar and sucked the air out so it didnât make anymore sound. It was an artificial vacuum. No such luck with Danae; people can still hear her.
Markzilla over 12 years ago
Dude, please stop making these absurd and offensive comments. Whoever you are, youâre embarrassing my favorite team.
dwsafford over 12 years ago
Roctor: read Alice Through the Looking glass to discover the bread and butterfly.
Varnes over 12 years ago
pouncer and denis, go away. If Wiley decides to go political on one of these..(And donât rule it out.) Weâll let you knowâŠI look forward to your fair and balanced perspectiveâŠ
bmonk over 12 years ago
âShe spends too much time in hellâ
+++++
Well, sheâs so good at creating itâŠ
fritzoid Premium Member over 12 years ago
âOh, look,â she said. She was a confirmed Oh-looker. I had noticed this at Cannes, where she had drawn my attention in this manner on various occasions to such diverse objects as a French actress, a Provençal filling station, the sunset over the Estorels, Michael Arlen, a man selling coloured spectacles, the deep velvet blue of the Mediterranean, and the late mayor of New York in a striped one-piece bathing suit. âOh, look at that sweet little star up there all by itself.â I saw the one she meant, a little chap operating in a detached sort of way above a spinney. âYes,â I said. âI wonder if it feels lonely.â âOh, I shouldnât think so.â âA fairy must have been crying.â âEh?â âDonât you remember? âEvery time a fairy sheds a tear, a wee bit star is born in the Milky Way.â Have you ever thought that, Mr. Wooster?â I never had. Most improbable, I considered, and it didnât seem to me to check up with her statement that the stars were Godâs daisy chain. I mean, you canât have it both ways. âDonât you love this time of the evening, Mr. Wooster, when the sun has gone to bed and all the bunnies come out to have their little suppers? When I was a child, I used to think that rabbits were gnomes, and that if I held my breath and stayed quite still, I should see the fairy queen.â Indicating with a reserved gesture that this was just the sort of loony thing I should have expected her to think as a child, I returned to the point.
Madeline Bassett and Bertie Wooster, Right Ho, Jeeves! (P.G. Wodehouse)
dkendraf over 12 years ago
Something along the lines of Quentin Tarantino.
Hunter7 over 12 years ago
So if we team Trout with Calvin and have Agnes with Danae âŠ. Let Bob & Jeffrey stand aside and take notes (or keep score)âŠ..Who takes over the world first? And how many trips to the principal will that take? ⊠can anyone do the math on this one?
primalcoach over 11 years ago
This may be a little picky, but a butterfly was originally a âflutter-by,â as observed by the way they fly. The term âbutterflyâ is actually a âSpoonerismâ that stuck. Go configure.