Brevity by Dan Thompson for November 04, 2012

But now he’s pretty blue.

Dah dum dum….tissssssss.

Good. Give him the chair. Maybe that will stop people from allowing horrid baby talk to be taught to kids. Death to Elmo!!!

Don’t what he did. Probably some kind of Street crime.

The judge looks related to the prosecutor; and they’re both glassy eyed. It doesn’t look good for Elmo.

Which is why you should never represent a Muppet.

Poor Elmo, he doesn’t have a leg to stand on

Since he is being judged, presumably, by a jury of his peers, he should be in good shape, unless Big Bird turns yellow.

They had a ‘million puppet march’ in Washington D.C. to support PBS. I love Elmo – not matter what the crime!

This is against my politics, but to be fair, Romney actually loves Sesame Street. He just feels that with 800 plus million in their bank account, they can easily be self-supporting.

wonder if the pat-down tickled

How To Get Rid of the Legendarily Annoying Elmo

First, you get a blunt instrument. From much experimentation, I have found that the best blunt insrument is Elmo’s “Sesame Street” compatriot, The Count. Pick up the Count, and whack Elmo repeatedly (and very hard indeed) on the head, while COUNTING: “One, two, three, four, FIVE! FIVE whackings of Elmo!” (It is preferable to say this in a bad Transylvanian accent, but by no means mandatory.) I’ve taught this method to all of my nieces and nephews, and they have all learned it quite readily, even Michaela, my youngest niece, who is only eight months old. As an added bonus, this has taught Michaela to count to 10, which is usually all the whackings Elmo can take before expiring