Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for October 21, 2012
Transcript:
Operator: Thank you for calling MyFacts.com... privitizing the truth since 2003 or 2006. Whenever. Chairman Priebus? This is Austin from MyFacts.com... just checking to see how your alternative reality package is working for you. Chairman Priebus: It's working great, Austin. The whole party's been using the new fact set. The MSFC are simply beside themselves! Operator: The MSFC? Chairman Priebus: Mainstream fact-checkers. Ryan's convention speech had them tied up for weeks! Operator: Well, I'm not surprised, sir. Virtually all the independent fact-checkers report directly to the democratic party. Chairman Priebus: What?! Really? Operator: Of course not. But I could work up something along those lines.
BE THIS GUY about 12 years ago
“The truth is what we want it to be.”™
Dtroutma about 12 years ago
“Snerdly’ find a new gig moonlighting for someone other than Rush??
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
Play the Republicon game!
BE THIS GUY about 12 years ago
Or should I say: “The truth is what you want it to be.”™
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
“alternate reality … why do they feel compelled to make everyone else live it?”
Elementary, my dear Dr. Watson: To spend billions in order to make a “return on investment” — hundreds of trillions off of working people in the form of wage slavery.
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
We’re not talking just U.S. economy here; we’re talking multinational economy, world economy.
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
Plutocracy is the enemy of democracy.
tudzax2 about 12 years ago
Dylan, indeed, who wants to work for a cartoon dog?
thirdguy about 12 years ago
Plutocracy is your friend! Did you think that DIebold was out of tricks? That flipping 300,000 votes in Ohio in 04 was a fluke? You ain,t seen anything yet. Mittens has this one bought and paid for.
Alabama Al about 12 years ago
When some poster, on this or any other message site, starts ranting about the “liberal media” or, equivalently, the “mainstream media”, it’s a telling sign that this is an opinion that can be safely discounted.`Heck, a lot of the Conservatives don’t even bother spelling “mainstream media” out any more, it’s just “MSM”. Helps smooth the thought process, I suppose. And it’s expected they should rant. Political commentator Stephen Colbert probably said it best: “Reality has a well-known liberal bias.”
Doughfoot about 12 years ago
“What good fortune for governments that people do not think.” “Make the lie big, make it simple, keep telling it, and eventually they will believe it.” “It is not truth that matters, but victory.” — Adolf Hitler.
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
“You left-wing-pinko-maggots can’t handle the truth. So we give you our version of it!”
“Truth” in the coming wonderful plutocratic world tomorrow = minimum wage: enough to keep a tin roof over your head, and one room to hold a bed, a shower, a toilet, a pipe to hang your clothes, a washer-dryer, a fridge (if you pay extra), a cupboard and a table. Welcome to unregulated free-market capitalism. Your weekly pay can’t quite cover your weekly expenses, but you can barrow up to a certain amount from the company store, in which everything costs slightly less than it does in stores outside your compound. Consequently you go deeper and deeper in debt — till at the end of your working years (from age 6 to age 76 = 70 years).
Your weekly balance of pay minus company-store debt balances at approx. $100. Since there are 50 working weeks per year, 50 weeks times $100 debt balance per week = $500 debt plus interest. $500 debt per year times 70 working years = $35,000 plus compounded interest = $3,500,000 you owe Bain Capital Multinational (BCM) at the end of your working life and the beginning of your retirement at age 70 years.
Any medical you wish to buy is added on, as well as any education you desire for your children. (If you have to ask how much money, you can’t afford to send your kids to school. You may home-school them if you wish, after your 10-hour work-day. (If they are to receive any education at all they will have to work their way through school.)
Meanwhile, the CEO of your company, BCM, lives in a 1000-room house overlooking the Pacific and drinks wine at $10,000 per bottle. His pay+bonus = a million dollars per year plus a billion dollar golden parachute in case he mismanages the company and has to leave to go manage another company.
If you don’t vote GOP you get fired. Two-hour notice max. Lots of luck finding another job, since unemployment hovers around 40% and is kept there by “unregulated free market” forces.
Don’t even think about buying an internal-combustion car at $200,000 each minimum. Gas: $100 per gallon. Get a bike and pedal. The exercise’ll keep you healthier.
Work hard and try to climb to become CEO yourself. Your chances of getting there are the same as those of winning the lottery. Besides the CEOs kids have the “connections” to get that corner office that you’ll never get.
Instead, your lot is to work hard, pray even harder, and be ready to meet your Maker, the great CEO in the sky, at any second.
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
Oh, taxes! Yes, taxes. The job providers pay none, in order to “provide the conditions for your employment.” You pay payroll taxes and sales taxes. You pay no capital-gains taxes, since you have no capital gain. Willard pays no taxes of any kind at all ever since he is a “job provider”, not even sales taxes on the seven Cadillacs, a pink one, a blue one, a silver one, a gold one, a black one, a white one, and a jade one — a different one for each day of the week. Each one has its own elevator to store in the overhead garage.
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
WELCOME TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF WAGE SLAVERY!
-Saint- about 12 years ago
I will SO glad when election season is over and we can get onto more important things like preparing for the next one…
johndifool about 12 years ago
Said site actually exists-not brave enough to actually load it, tho.
unintent2000 about 12 years ago
“Romney refuses to own up to what we have been saying about him…therefore he is a liar”
Packratjohn Premium Member about 12 years ago
On the subject of fact checking: I read a variety of news articles. When I almost invariably get to the line that reads, “According to one person, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he wasn’t authorized to speak on this subject…..” WHY BOTHER? We have no way of confirming that, we don’t know if it was made up, and it is probably wrong.
stellablu122 about 12 years ago
“But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought.” ― George Orwell, 1984
Kip W about 12 years ago
Flip flopping on facts means you’re wrong half the time. If it’s intentional, then it’s lying.
Also, this: http://bytwerk.com/gpa/falsenaziquotations.htm
William Bednar Premium Member about 12 years ago
Reality is nothing more than a Liberal conspiracy! Fantasy is my game!
asa4ever about 12 years ago
Why doesn’t the American People read The Declaration of Independence and get on with it?
blackash2004-tree Premium Member about 12 years ago
It takes one to know one. Trudeau is a propagandist and has been his entire career. He makes Goebbels proud.
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
He’s baaaack! Yes! Just in time to watch the GOP machine do what it always manages to do, only now on steroids with all that big $ from the big corporate donors, thanks to our current Supreme Court. Thank you GT. Brilliant as always.
caligula about 12 years ago
I wondered where that last debate moderator got her information on the Prez’s Benghazi Bungle.
kaffekup about 12 years ago
" Ed Lazear chaired George W. Bush’s Council of Economic Advisers". This tells me all I need to know about this guy.
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
Somebody cued up the Hitler comments a bit early today…
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
In terms of the woman’s body, it would be nice if things were as some Republicans think they are. Too bad it isn’t true that in the present day no one ever becomes ill from pregnancy, no one dies in childbirth and no one ever gets pregnant from being raped. The fantasy world of the GOP.
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
The future does not look bright for those of us getting older under an RR administration at all, (which is of course to say all of us). We will all need medicare someday. Medicare was designed to serve a drastic need on the part of older retired people. Medical debt is enormous. Vouchers won’t cut it. This is one of the main reasons why an RR administration should never come to be. For all his flaws, Obama has a record of at least fighting for the middle class. He deserves a 2nd term. Romney doesn’t deserve a first one.
AlbertNonyMouse about 12 years ago
Well, when one considers that half of all Americans are of below average intelligence, and that a good many more aren’t much smarter than that, and that their vote counts more or less the same as anyone else’s, it certainly gives one cause for concern. It’s all too easy to sell the suckers on the notion that because the Constitution says “All men are created equal” (just ask ’em; they read it just like they read their Bible…) all their “facts” are equal too.
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
I am not mentioning this stuff about reproductive issues because I want to talk about it, but if it isn’t talked about from a different point of view, the GOP will have their way. If we don’t speak up, they will be happy to fill in the void! The same is true of the 2012 election in general, of course. No matter how much name calling from the other side we have to endure, we have to make sure our voice is also heard.
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
I agree with your thoughts. In terms of reproductive rights, what the GOP has been up to would be amusing if it weren’t so serious. The GOP head in the sand approach to pregnancy issues is potentially deadly to women as well as far more complicated than what they seem to realize.
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
In terms of fighting back against creationism being taught in public schools, there are many things that one can do. Vote, volunteer, stay informed about what the local school board is doing, stay informed about what the state school board is doing, get involved in local school board elections, get involved in state school board elections. Religion is not a bad thing, but it doesn’t belong in our public schools. The GOP often thinks they are the only ones who own the pledge of allegiance, the flag and the church. Not so. There are many liberals who are also believers. Maybe the conservative religious folks would be well served to go back and read Matthew 25.
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
When in doubt, the GOP folks love to trot out the old commie name calling bit… No matter that it makes no sense, they love to say it anyway.
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
Often, critics of American public education like to play the game of comparing our schools with others in the world. I believe that it should be recognized that 20% of US students speak a language other than English at home. Over 400 different languages are spoken in US schools. Also, English language learners often go to the poorest schools and live in abject poverty. Lawmakers and others are ignoring poverty as one of the reasons for the achievement gap. In Finland, for example, only 4% of children live in poverty. In the US, 22% of our students live in poverty. Finland is not a socialist country, by the way. Finland has a robust capitalist economy. So, that is how I explain it. I don’t think that it should be that way, but to say otherwise is to simply not acknowledge the reality as is.
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
Finnish 15 year old students have consistently been in first and second place in Math and Science in global rankings. Upon visiting Finland recently, Diane Ravitch (a well known author) found that Finnish teachers were horrified to learn that US schools are increasing the use of standardized tests, basing teacher evaluations on how well students score on tests, and will receive merit pay if students do well. There is no standardized testing in Finland and teachers are responsible for the curriculum taught in their schools. In US schools where poverty is not a factor, US schools do very well comparatively.
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
I realize that I did not give a bumper sticker answer to the question of problems in US schools. Often, we have to delve a bit deeper than that if we really want to solve a problem.
steelersneo about 12 years ago
These so called fact checkers while not answering directly to the Demoncratic party are certainly made up of mostly liberals so it ammounts to the same thing.
vwdualnomand about 12 years ago
p90x ryan says that he ran an under 3 hour marathon. wrong. he says that president obama made gm plant in his district shutdown in 2008. wrong. he couldn’t even distinguished colt mccoy and brandon weeden from a guy who comes from a state obsessed with football.
Doughfoot about 12 years ago
You take the controls of a badly damaged aircraft that is falling out of control. By great efforts you prevent it from crashing. But half the passengers and half the crew are working against you to prevent you making the necessary repairs, and then they announce that because you still have not brought the plane up the altitude it was at when you took the controls, all the problems are your fault. It is simply a cheat to use “the day Bust left office” as your reference point. One week after Bush left office, one month after Bush left office, his policies were still completely in effect. It took 9 months for the new administration to make any difference, and even that was much less than they might have with even a modicum of co-operation. Here’s some more facts for you: when Reagan took office, unemployment was at 7.4%. It held there for a year, then soared to 10.8% (higher than in this administration) and at the time of his re-election had still not been brought back down to 7.4%. On the date of Reagan’s second election, there had not been one day in his administration when as many Americans were employed as on the day he took office. And he entered office with a much healthier economy than Obama did, and still unemployment rose to a higher peak than it did in Obama’s administration. It stayed at that peak a shorter time, and things were clearly improving when we was re-elected. I just want to point out that Lazear is stating a meaningless fact. Of course the economy is bad. But Obama did not become supreme master of the universe when he took office. The only evidence that would matter is something that proves or even suggests that things might have gone better with different actions on his part. Just because the patient is recovering more slowly than expected, it does not mean the physician is incompetent. And certainly it does not mean that you should fire him and hire a witchdoctor instead.
montessoriteacher about 12 years ago
If you really don’t see it as a problem that many of the students in the US do not speak English as a first language, then I really can’t help you understand, I am afraid. Maybe we should just go back to beating up on teachers and teacher organizations as we have been for the last several decades, since that has worked so well.
tigre1again about 12 years ago
We actually handle truth rather well, all things considered…
BE THIS GUY about 12 years ago
@FriscoLouI guess you won’t be watching the debate tomorrow night.
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
“… fumigate the office ….”
Only a racist would make such a post — as though blacks carry lice and fleas.
DylanThomas3.14159 about 12 years ago
Rational Anarchist about 12 years ago
I don’t beieve in truth. I’ve heard so much of it in 62 years that turned out to be someting less that it makes as much sense to believe outright lies and save the transition time.