Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 09, 2012

No wonder he can’t catch any zeebas.

Quality control at the brewery.

with a skill like that he’s more likely to catch z’s than zeebas.

i thought about majoring in Drinking while i was in college

Sounds like Norm’s resume.

With so much competition in that particular skill area, Larry will need to find something more distinctive to get even a decent interview. Let’s hope Junior can come up with something good for his mentally differently abled dad….

I wasn’t born for diggin’ deep holesI’m not made for pavin’ long roadsI ain’t cut out to climb high line polesBut, I’m pretty good at drinkin’ beer

I’m not the type to work in a bankI’m no good at slappin’ on paintDon’t have a knack for makin’ motor’s crankNo, but I’m pretty good at drinkin’ beer

So, hand me one more, that’s what I’m here forI’m built for havin’ a ballI love the nightlife, I love my Bud lightI like ’em cold and tall

I ain’t much for mowin’ thick grassI’m too slow for workin’ too fastI don’t do windows, so honey, don’t askBut I’m pretty good at drinkin’ beer

Am kind to animallHave never kilt zeeba

Can drink my wieht in beer an not get crocked.

Put some hunting skills on the resume, just don’t rate them.

@naturally_easy:

Artist: Billy CurringtonSong: Pretty Good At Drinkin’ Beer Album: Enjoy Yourself

I think I had him in U.S. History

By changing his accent, he could run for office as a Kennedy

If drinking beer were such a good skill, our unemployment rate would probably be close to zero.

That is the job I retired to: Turning alcohol into urine.

Yep. Larry DEFINITELY went to the Andy Capp School of Finding Employment!

Yes, but does drinking like you back?

And you also like sending interviewers off their rockers.

LOL xxx

“When money’s tight and hard to get,And your horse has also ran,When all you have is a heap of debt,A pint of plain is your only man. "-Flann O’Brien

Me like this joke today, am too funny.

For those who remember comic history, Li’l Abner had a job as a mattress tester. I see Larry more as a couch tester, easier for him to keep drinking. Now I’ll have to go through the other comments and see if anyone else said the same thing.

Time for AA Larry.

“And malt does more than Milton can To justify God’s ways to man.”A. E. Housman (1859–1936). A Shropshire Lad. 1896.

LXII. Terence, this is stupid stuff

“I like beer.It makes me a jolly good fellow.I like beer.It helps me unwind and sometimes it makes me feel mellow.Whiskey’s too rough, champagne costs too much, and vodka puts my mouth in gear.This little refrain should help me explain.As a matter of fact I love beer.”-Tom T. Hall

Any job in D.C. fits that bill.

On Cheers, Norm once got a job drinking beer.

“Here’s to the man who drinks strong ale and goes to bed quite mellow…”

Oh how I have missed the crocs! The crocs and zeebras are the best part of “Pearls.” If only we could see more of them. Characters such as the lemmings have no redeeming quality.

Great start, Larry…

Larry: Me no have drinking probbum. Me drink, me get drunk, me fall down; no probbum."