Frazz by Jef Mallett for December 06, 2012

Just don’t let the frozen farts get near the frozen candle flames….

I, personally, have invented the most efficient weather monitoring tool in the world…I call it the Eitherormeter…It’s a cup of water you set on your picnic table…..Either it freezes or it doesn’t. If it freezes, it’s freezing out. If it doesn’t, it’s just bone chilling cold. It is very accurate….

BTW, if you blow bubbles in 10º air, they freeze. It’s really cool…..

The TRUE determinant of cold is Spit.If it freezes before it hits the sidewalk it’s COLD!If you hear a “splat” instead of a “clink” it’s still just “nippy.”

Nose crackling? Why have I never heard of this before? Even if it doesn’t get that cold where I am, I’ve been to Germany for two winters and Minnesota in February.

We always called it ‘cold enough that your nose hairs freeze’..

Google “A Texan moves north” for my perspective on cold.

I knew a woman who was a child around the turn of the twentieth century. She recalled that around her home, near Colorado Springs, they would go out on New Year’s Eve and blow bubbles. The bubbles would freeze, so that when they landed on the snow, they’d just sit there looking magical. They’d blow heaps and heaps of bubbles….Here in Denver, nowadays, it’s neither cold enough nor snowy enough to do that on New Year’s Eve. Some years we get a snap of below-zero in January or February, but then it sometimes gets into the 70s in February, too.

@SF2 funny stuff

Can you add frozen farts to a snowball? (How big are those things anyway?) Because that would be awesome….

@Sharuniboy

Thanks for the welcome, although I’ve been here for some time (just not posting much due to working all the time). Doonesbury, too, where I pointed out your absence for a time last summer. It’s been good to have you back there.

Love your reminiscence about the Cherry Creek “slide”! We’re just east of Colorado Blvd., a hop, skip, and a jump from C.Crk.

And, not to be outdone, at the end of my block on this very day, workers have dug up the street to insert new water pipe, or something. Warm and dry, indeed. No frozen nose hairs here!

During the gold rush miners would check the temperature by first looking at a bucket of water. If the water was frozen, then it was 32 or below. Secondly they would check a kerosene lamp. If that was frozen, they knew it was -48!!

For me the temperature at which the inside of my nose freezes enough to crackle is about -12F. It’s a real phenomenon, but it needs to get cold enough. It happened to me in northern Illinois. Maybe one has to both notice and be foolish enough to be outside when it is that cold.

It happened just after I stepped outside and inhaled the first time. I only really noticed it the first few times.