Randolph Itch, 2 a.m. by Tom Toles for March 21, 2013

How about a root beer?

Moxie all the way

Sasparilla? Grape Nehi?

Sioux City birch beer.

I’ll have a rum and Coke. Hold the Coke.

I prefer Pepsi, it has a more yellow taste than Coca Cola which has a reddy orange taste. Don’t ask me to explain it; it’s a bit like me trying to explain a scent to an aftershave salesperson.

I generally don’t take either one out of a fountain. An ice-cold Coke out of a bottle is good now and then, though. Definitely better than Pepsi.