Close to Home by John McPherson for January 09, 2013

Hope they aren’t hemophiliacs.

Probably on blood thinners, doping in all sports.

…until the older brother discovered he has IBS.

I just donated blood yesterday, and although I was pretty fast, I’m probably nowhere near these “professionals”

They should be on the treadmill, to get their heart rates up.

I’m sure one of them could “cheat” by encouraging thestaf to use a bigger diameter needle.

Should be “faster” not “fastest.”

make sure you drink nothing but water for 2 to 3 days before donating, soda, and other drinks actually make you slower. I only drink water and donate in about 3 mins…but when I do decide on a soda it doubles that time or more.

It takes me about 6 mins..

If you’re looking for speed, don’t try Pheresis. A double unit of platelets takes about 90 minutes.

i donated blood this morning…..they had to catch me and strap me down with steel chains….but i donated blood this morning.

the guy on the left stole Gunther’s wardrobe

Simple solution to this ref. Occam’s razor, Have someone whack off your head and stick a bucket under the neck. The simplest solution is the best solution.

Not you blood donors. Good for you people. I mean if you’re having a bloodletting speed contest with your brother.

Drink plenty of water and avoid coffee the day of donation. I can drain a pint in about 4.5 minutes.

I don’t know whether I take longer or it just seems longer. I never knew it was a competition, so never timed it.

I made it to my 13 gallon pin before I had to stop donating…...Noooo, not all at once! LOL

Thanks for reminding me! I’m about due for my donation.