I had cause to ’phone the local authority yesterday and, as usual, was put on hold. The usual cr*pp* music was interrupted by announcements that were themselves interrupted by other announcements..Now and again a female voice would say “Child Support Benefits” but nothing else. I had 10 minutes of this. And all because I wanted a new medical sharps box which I should have been able to order over the internet.
I need the old one collecting, too. As a registered diabetic, my other half doesn’t pay for medication, pens or needles etc. As a registered epileptic, I’m not subject to prescription charges either. Bit of a problem ridden household aren’t we!
I work at a company that sells/installs/maintains phone systems. I am a tech for the Internet side of the business; I cannot conference someone, or park them, but I DO know how to transfer. I guess I’m not technical enough.
If you are obsessive-compulsive: Press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent: Ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities: Press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid: We know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional: Press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic: Listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive: It doesn’t matter what number you press – no-one will answer. If you are dyslexic: Press 969696969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder: Please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia: Press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name. If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. If you have short term memory loss: Press 9. If you have low self esteem: Please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
Linguist over 11 years ago
Call for HRM on Line 6…..
Linux0s over 11 years ago
Now all the sudden you need to read several pages on paging.
pcolli over 11 years ago
I had cause to ’phone the local authority yesterday and, as usual, was put on hold. The usual cr*pp* music was interrupted by announcements that were themselves interrupted by other announcements..Now and again a female voice would say “Child Support Benefits” but nothing else. I had 10 minutes of this. And all because I wanted a new medical sharps box which I should have been able to order over the internet.
vwdualnomand over 11 years ago
the automated phone system is a bane on society.
pcolli over 11 years ago
I need the old one collecting, too. As a registered diabetic, my other half doesn’t pay for medication, pens or needles etc. As a registered epileptic, I’m not subject to prescription charges either. Bit of a problem ridden household aren’t we!
steverinoCT over 11 years ago
I work at a company that sells/installs/maintains phone systems. I am a tech for the Internet side of the business; I cannot conference someone, or park them, but I DO know how to transfer. I guess I’m not technical enough.
jimyoungreporter over 11 years ago
“On Hold” is now a bad word, er a phrase!
wndrwrthg over 11 years ago
I prefer two tin cans connected by a string.
Sherlock Watson over 11 years ago
I’ve found that if you press 0 every time, you eventually get an actual person on the line.
Sherlock Watson over 11 years ago
“If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, press 1. If not, press 2.”
el8 over 11 years ago
Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive: Press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent: Ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities: Press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid: We know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional: Press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic: Listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive: It doesn’t matter what number you press – no-one will answer. If you are dyslexic: Press 969696969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder: Please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia: Press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s maiden name. If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. If you have short-term memory loss: Press 9. If you have short term memory loss: Press 9. If you have low self esteem: Please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.