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Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 02, 2013
July 01, 2013
July 03, 2013
Transcript:
Goat: Hey, Zebra. I'd like you to meet Ivan. He's first violinist in our city's symphony orchestra. Zebra: Wow. What an honor to meet-- Man: Hey! I'm in the orchestra! I'm in the-- Ivan: Second violinists can be so annoying.
(Itās always been drummed into me not to horn in when commenters piccolo batch of puns and it ends up in sax and violinsā¦..Iāll be gong along nowā¦.)
@Bruno Zeigerts & @ Melvin ScottāTHE biggest differnce? Itzhak Perlman plays the violin, Charlie Daniels plays the fiddle!!ā¦And I enjoy BOTH performers!
Perlman does Daniels : āThe Devil Went Down to Tel Avivā.As for me, I say more Sax, less Violins.I worked my way up to first trumpet, really got to show my brass, and my fingering was to die for. Wish Iād kept it up, I coulda been a contender. Kids, if you want to play a wind instrument, donāt start smoking! Iāve long since quit, but it certainly ruins your breath control. Anyway, go forth, make music and peace. The alternatives are not pleasant.
The bass section of the orchestra got drunk one night. When they looked around they saw that the sheet music was put into bundles and fastened with string.
Heās A first violinist. There are probably 20 of them. If the second violinist were principal of the second violins, his position would be higher than a regular first violinist.
Now, if he were first hornāor first oboeāor any other wind instrument, just saying āHeās first hornā would be fine.
When the conductor asked the Principal Oboist for a tuning note, he did not get one. He looked over at the Oboist, who complained, āThe Principal Violist broke all my reeds!ā The conductor then asked the Violist why he had done such a thing, the Violist blustered, āHe turned one of my pegs, and now he wonāt tell me which one!ā
+++++
Bonus: We all know that a viola is better than a violin because it burns longer. But why does it burn longer?
i knew a kid in 6th grade that played the accordion. other than drunk fake-germans and cheesy polka bands back in the 70ās, i havenāt seen an accordion since Lawrence Welk went off the air.
Mr Movie Trivia over 11 years ago
Iām sure thereās a āSecond Fiddleā joke in there somewhere.
Ida No over 11 years ago
I bet that happens all the time in the orchestra. No one likes the second strings.
AGED_ENGINEER Premium Member over 11 years ago
Playing second fiddle just doesnāt cut it, I guess.
jazzmoose over 11 years ago
Speaking as one who was āfourth tromboneā in fifth grade, I resent this.
John W. Vinson Premium Member over 11 years ago
And letās not even THINK about the violas.
Sisyphos over 11 years ago
Ivan is the temperamental artist kind of guy I like. Canāt have these pushy second-stringers getting all uppity!
WoodEye over 11 years ago
Use an accordion, go to jail! Oh wait thatās a gunā¦. No, accordion was right!
SusanSunshine Premium Member over 11 years ago
Being in orchestras is the pits.
oldschool434 over 11 years ago
how many times has this happened to Pastis at a gathering of comic strip writers?
jsab0 over 11 years ago
Somebody get the guy a tissue to wipe the snot off his head.
eddie6192 over 11 years ago
Ivan is terrible.
zainan over 11 years ago
Bruno, Iāve always heard the difference between a fiddle and a violin is a violin is carried in a case while a fiddle is carried in a gunny sack.
puddlesplatt over 11 years ago
slap those strings
gilmccarthy over 11 years ago
The animals have eyeballs! Yikes.
StelBel over 11 years ago
(Itās always been drummed into me not to horn in when commenters piccolo batch of puns and it ends up in sax and violinsā¦..Iāll be gong along nowā¦.)
cork over 11 years ago
If the 2nd fiddle is named Joe, Ivan would have to banjo.
Carl Rennhack Premium Member over 11 years ago
@Susan SunshineāOnce again, dear lady, you beat me to the PUNch!
Carl Rennhack Premium Member over 11 years ago
@Bruno Zeigerts & @ Melvin ScottāTHE biggest differnce? Itzhak Perlman plays the violin, Charlie Daniels plays the fiddle!!ā¦And I enjoy BOTH performers!
BCLouiseSaid over 11 years ago
Is Ivan supposed to look like James Lipton of āInside the Actorās Studioā fame?
finale over 11 years ago
Culture and dignity right into the commode in 2 panelsā¦..well done!
Packratjohn Premium Member over 11 years ago
Perlman does Daniels : āThe Devil Went Down to Tel Avivā.As for me, I say more Sax, less Violins.I worked my way up to first trumpet, really got to show my brass, and my fingering was to die for. Wish Iād kept it up, I coulda been a contender. Kids, if you want to play a wind instrument, donāt start smoking! Iāve long since quit, but it certainly ruins your breath control. Anyway, go forth, make music and peace. The alternatives are not pleasant.
LingeeWhiz over 11 years ago
He couldnāt have orchestrated that any better.
GoodQuestion Premium Member over 11 years ago
Guess the editors tolā Stephan to add a little punch to his toons this week and he replied with a wise crack . . . ā»
Digital Frog over 11 years ago
Pig can make friends with the 1st violin, but he never seems to get to 2nd Bass.
Bob Patterson over 11 years ago
Ivan and James Liptonā¦. Separated at birth?
mcarlclapp over 11 years ago
The bass section of the orchestra got drunk one night. When they looked around they saw that the sheet music was put into bundles and fastened with string.
The bassā were loaded and the score was tied.
dutchs over 11 years ago
Please, even this strip has its limits. Although after āWeāre off to see the whiz-herdā¦ā Iām not sure.
ArfArf88 over 11 years ago
Ivan had better watch his back!Ooh! I hope Iām not giving away tomorrowās plot..
BonesBass1 over 11 years ago
Didnāt know that James Lipton played violin!
danno12345 over 11 years ago
Iāve heard that violas & violins are the same size, but violinistās heads are biggerā¦
michaelyukyuk over 11 years ago
Grrrooooaaaaannnn.
MomKat1982 over 11 years ago
He looks like James Lipton from āThe Actorās Studioā.
ChessPirate over 11 years ago
āTuba or not tuba.āHe seems to be too high strung.Heāll cross that bridge when he gets to it.I guess Iāll bow out now.
Sherlock Watson over 11 years ago
Donāt worry, folks, nobodyās getting hurt; itās all just orchestrated violins.
Popeyesforearm over 11 years ago
right in the fret board
Number Three over 11 years ago
Love it!
xxx
Snoopy_Fan over 11 years ago
I donāt like all the violins in this comic today!
Andi Asha over 11 years ago
I think this is a sign for my husband Casey
amaryllis2 Premium Member over 11 years ago
Violas are such pansies.
Lamberger over 11 years ago
āViolaā, said the French musician as he returned the supersized fiddle.
lmonteros over 11 years ago
Heās A first violinist. There are probably 20 of them. If the second violinist were principal of the second violins, his position would be higher than a regular first violinist.
Now, if he were first hornāor first oboeāor any other wind instrument, just saying āHeās first hornā would be fine.
I say, āStop the violins!ā
bmonk over 11 years ago
Goat has a perfect pitch?
+++++
When the conductor asked the Principal Oboist for a tuning note, he did not get one. He looked over at the Oboist, who complained, āThe Principal Violist broke all my reeds!ā The conductor then asked the Violist why he had done such a thing, the Violist blustered, āHe turned one of my pegs, and now he wonāt tell me which one!ā
+++++
Bonus: We all know that a viola is better than a violin because it burns longer. But why does it burn longer?
Ā Ā Itās usually still in the case.
dfowensby over 11 years ago
i knew a kid in 6th grade that played the accordion. other than drunk fake-germans and cheesy polka bands back in the 70ās, i havenāt seen an accordion since Lawrence Welk went off the air.
codedaddy over 11 years ago
The oboe: An ill woodwind that nobody blows good.(Duke Ellington, some say)