Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 02, 2013
July 01, 2013
July 03, 2013
Transcript:
Goat: Hey, Zebra. I'd like you to meet Ivan. He's first violinist in our city's symphony orchestra. Zebra: Wow. What an honor to meet-- Man: Hey! I'm in the orchestra! I'm in the-- Ivan: Second violinists can be so annoying.
@Bruno Zeigerts & @ Melvin Scott—THE biggest differnce? Itzhak Perlman plays the violin, Charlie Daniels plays the fiddle!!…And I enjoy BOTH performers!
Perlman does Daniels : “The Devil Went Down to Tel Aviv”.As for me, I say more Sax, less Violins.I worked my way up to first trumpet, really got to show my brass, and my fingering was to die for. Wish I’d kept it up, I coulda been a contender. Kids, if you want to play a wind instrument, don’t start smoking! I’ve long since quit, but it certainly ruins your breath control. Anyway, go forth, make music and peace. The alternatives are not pleasant.
The bass section of the orchestra got drunk one night. When they looked around they saw that the sheet music was put into bundles and fastened with string.
He’s A first violinist. There are probably 20 of them. If the second violinist were principal of the second violins, his position would be higher than a regular first violinist.
Now, if he were first horn—or first oboe—or any other wind instrument, just saying “He’s first horn” would be fine.
When the conductor asked the Principal Oboist for a tuning note, he did not get one. He looked over at the Oboist, who complained, “The Principal Violist broke all my reeds!” The conductor then asked the Violist why he had done such a thing, the Violist blustered, “He turned one of my pegs, and now he won’t tell me which one!”
+++++
Bonus: We all know that a viola is better than a violin because it burns longer. But why does it burn longer?
i knew a kid in 6th grade that played the accordion. other than drunk fake-germans and cheesy polka bands back in the 70’s, i haven’t seen an accordion since Lawrence Welk went off the air.
Mr Movie Trivia over 11 years ago
I’m sure there’s a “Second Fiddle” joke in there somewhere.
Ida No over 11 years ago
I bet that happens all the time in the orchestra. No one likes the second strings.
AGED_ENGINEER Premium Member over 11 years ago
Playing second fiddle just doesn’t cut it, I guess.
jazzmoose over 11 years ago
Speaking as one who was “fourth trombone” in fifth grade, I resent this.
John W. Vinson Premium Member over 11 years ago
And let’s not even THINK about the violas.
Sisyphos over 11 years ago
Ivan is the temperamental artist kind of guy I like. Can’t have these pushy second-stringers getting all uppity!
WoodEye over 11 years ago
Use an accordion, go to jail! Oh wait that’s a gun…. No, accordion was right!
SusanSunshine Premium Member over 11 years ago
Being in orchestras is the pits.
oldschool434 over 11 years ago
how many times has this happened to Pastis at a gathering of comic strip writers?
jsab0 over 11 years ago
Somebody get the guy a tissue to wipe the snot off his head.
eddie6192 over 11 years ago
Ivan is terrible.
zainan over 11 years ago
Bruno, I’ve always heard the difference between a fiddle and a violin is a violin is carried in a case while a fiddle is carried in a gunny sack.
puddlesplatt over 11 years ago
slap those strings
gilmccarthy over 11 years ago
The animals have eyeballs! Yikes.
StelBel over 11 years ago
(It’s always been drummed into me not to horn in when commenters piccolo batch of puns and it ends up in sax and violins…..I’ll be gong along now….)
cork over 11 years ago
If the 2nd fiddle is named Joe, Ivan would have to banjo.
Carl Rennhack Premium Member over 11 years ago
@Susan Sunshine—Once again, dear lady, you beat me to the PUNch!
Carl Rennhack Premium Member over 11 years ago
@Bruno Zeigerts & @ Melvin Scott—THE biggest differnce? Itzhak Perlman plays the violin, Charlie Daniels plays the fiddle!!…And I enjoy BOTH performers!
BCLouiseSaid over 11 years ago
Is Ivan supposed to look like James Lipton of “Inside the Actor’s Studio” fame?
finale over 11 years ago
Culture and dignity right into the commode in 2 panels…..well done!
Packratjohn Premium Member over 11 years ago
Perlman does Daniels : “The Devil Went Down to Tel Aviv”.As for me, I say more Sax, less Violins.I worked my way up to first trumpet, really got to show my brass, and my fingering was to die for. Wish I’d kept it up, I coulda been a contender. Kids, if you want to play a wind instrument, don’t start smoking! I’ve long since quit, but it certainly ruins your breath control. Anyway, go forth, make music and peace. The alternatives are not pleasant.
LingeeWhiz over 11 years ago
He couldn’t have orchestrated that any better.
GoodQuestion Premium Member over 11 years ago
Guess the editors tol’ Stephan to add a little punch to his toons this week and he replied with a wise crack . . . ☻
Digital Frog over 11 years ago
Pig can make friends with the 1st violin, but he never seems to get to 2nd Bass.
Bob Patterson over 11 years ago
Ivan and James Lipton…. Separated at birth?
mcarlclapp over 11 years ago
The bass section of the orchestra got drunk one night. When they looked around they saw that the sheet music was put into bundles and fastened with string.
The bass’ were loaded and the score was tied.
dutchs over 11 years ago
Please, even this strip has its limits. Although after “We’re off to see the whiz-herd…” I’m not sure.
ArfArf88 over 11 years ago
Ivan had better watch his back!Ooh! I hope I’m not giving away tomorrow’s plot..
BonesBass1 over 11 years ago
Didn’t know that James Lipton played violin!
danno12345 over 11 years ago
I’ve heard that violas & violins are the same size, but violinist’s heads are bigger…
michaelyukyuk over 11 years ago
Grrrooooaaaaannnn.
MomKat1982 over 11 years ago
He looks like James Lipton from “The Actor’s Studio”.
ChessPirate over 11 years ago
“Tuba or not tuba.”He seems to be too high strung.He’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it.I guess I’ll bow out now.
Sherlock Watson over 11 years ago
Don’t worry, folks, nobody’s getting hurt; it’s all just orchestrated violins.
Popeyesforearm over 11 years ago
right in the fret board
Number Three over 11 years ago
Love it!
xxx
Snoopy_Fan over 11 years ago
I don’t like all the violins in this comic today!
Andi Asha over 11 years ago
I think this is a sign for my husband Casey
amaryllis2 Premium Member over 11 years ago
Violas are such pansies.
Lamberger over 11 years ago
“Viola”, said the French musician as he returned the supersized fiddle.
lmonteros over 11 years ago
He’s A first violinist. There are probably 20 of them. If the second violinist were principal of the second violins, his position would be higher than a regular first violinist.
Now, if he were first horn—or first oboe—or any other wind instrument, just saying “He’s first horn” would be fine.
I say, “Stop the violins!”
bmonk over 11 years ago
Goat has a perfect pitch?
+++++
When the conductor asked the Principal Oboist for a tuning note, he did not get one. He looked over at the Oboist, who complained, “The Principal Violist broke all my reeds!” The conductor then asked the Violist why he had done such a thing, the Violist blustered, “He turned one of my pegs, and now he won’t tell me which one!”
+++++
Bonus: We all know that a viola is better than a violin because it burns longer. But why does it burn longer?
It’s usually still in the case.
dfowensby over 11 years ago
i knew a kid in 6th grade that played the accordion. other than drunk fake-germans and cheesy polka bands back in the 70’s, i haven’t seen an accordion since Lawrence Welk went off the air.
codedaddy over 11 years ago
The oboe: An ill woodwind that nobody blows good.(Duke Ellington, some say)