For Better or For Worse by Lynn Johnston for August 02, 2013

poor LIzzie, one time I went two weeks without looking at my older brother when I was five, its a sister thing

Elizabeth’s still just a very little girl..she’s talking a little bit more grown up but still thinks in baby speak. What a darlin’!

I agree! Even if Elly told her, “Michael will be home in 4 days,” that still wouldn’t compute with her. Only today or tomorrow is something that makes sense to her. I give examples they can understand, like “right after dinner” rather than “at 7pm”.

We used to talk in terms of “sleeps.” “Grandma will be here after three more sleeps.” That meant there would be three more bedtimes and then after that, Grandma! :)

I have a friend whose wife moved out, and he often said how much he missed her. They never divorced or even got a legal separation. She lived nearby and they talked sometimes. After 11 years, she asked if she could come back, and he gladly said yes. Within a day she was driving him crazy with annoying habits, and he began complaining constantly. After a while I asked him whether he was still glad she was back, in spite of all the problems. Now when he complains, it’s gentler – and he says, “But that’s the way she is, and I love her anyway.”Lizzie may be a bit young to grasp that when Michael comes back.

Aw…Poor Lizzie. This is what it’s like to miss your tormentor or torment’ee’. My youngest granddaughter works my eldest’s last nerve every minute of every day! Yet when the eldest went to camp for a week, the youngest couldn’t sleep, didn’t want to play with anybody else, sang “I miss Sanai” in the bathtub (thought nobody could hear her), and practically knocked her down when Sanai got off the bus! It was precious! Mike’s got a big hug coming!

Big brothers, boooooo!

Kids often don’t understand time and distance concepts, however carefully and simply you explain them.

When my daughter was about five or so, a friend stayed with us for a few weeks who she totally adored. When he knew he’d be leaving in ten days, I set about preparing her for his departure. We looked at maps, and I explained that he would be way too far away when he went home to come back and visit any time soon. I emphasized that over the ten days. She assured me she understood. She could paraphrase what I’d told her.

He left. She was totally devastated for weeks. Whatever it was she understood intellectually, it was no preparation for his actual absence.

There is no way to deal with this, except patience and compassion. They understand what they understand when they understand it, and the process can’t be rushed.

We expect the wrong things from our small children, or actually, from any of them. When I was a child, the saying was that ‘you can’t put an old head on young shoulders’.

That’s reality.

Who ever does the coloring is terrible, the kids have bald spots or missing hair.