Herman by Jim Unger for December 26, 2013

Food for thought… – You are while they eat….

Someone please anesthetize her, now.

Competetive, aren’t we ladies?

Or it it “aren’t we, ladies?”Or maybe the “L” word is verboten too.

I’ve actually sat next to far worse.

One time I went to a buffet brunch I’d been eager to try at an ethnic restaurant. Don’t want to say what kind cos I don’t want anybody thinking I blame the nationality.

My meal was ruined by several large guys at the next table, loudly comparing gruesome details of horrific accidents they’d encountered as ambulance drivers.

Ended up walking over to ask them, politely, to stop … and they jeered me, and a couple of them shouted at me to mind my own business.

I complained, but the waitress said they were regulars and “harmless.”I’ve never been back there.

Been there, seen & heard that…I just stroll over to their table, stick my finger down my throat and then…well, then I say I’m sorry about disturbing their meal.

It must be a line every surgeon practices. “Good thing we took your (fill in the blank) out. It was the worst I’ve ever seen.” What’s he going to say; “Hey, your gallbladder looked great, but we cut it out anyway.”

I used to date someone who took call for a pediatrician’s office. Some of those restaurant phone calls were charming: “What color is it? How runny?”

No one commenting on how the guy listening is only half there — its like he’s on a flying saucer — no table legs. no pants…

Remember “The Meaning of Life” the restaurant scene……“bring me a bucket”.Now I will be back after you go to the bath room and talk to john. (heheh) Happy Boxing day one and all.

Let me tell you about my colonoscopy!

da noive!

Discuss worms while eating pasta, maggots while eating rice, urine while drinking Mountain Dew and while eating gravy . .. .