Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel for May 23, 2014

OK, EVERYBODY, THE CAPTION CONTEST IS HERE!

Please submit your caption ideas in the comments section. I will collect them for Friday, Saturday and Sunday and I will post my top 3 picks for you to vote on Monday.

I will tally the votes and post the cartoon with the winning caption, fully colorized, on Tuesday, May 27th.

As I stated before, the winner will get the original art for the cartoon. I hope that doesn’t discourage you all from participating because this is as good as it gets for the next three days.

In the meantime, have fun with it. A few rules:1). No swear words;2). Remember this is a family-friendly site;3). Try to avoid political statements.

Otherwise, laugh a little – it’s good for the soul.

And thank you for participating!!

Thom

I’d give you an earful about playing in the pond, but I see your father already has!

When I said “everything goes in one ear and out the other with you” I didn’t mean do it!

Tell your friends that when they play by ear, it should never be that closely.

I see that my advice isn’t the only thing to fall on deaf ears.

I don’t care…you’re still going to school!!!

No you can’t keep the frog!!!

Jojo said" skipping biology is not an option!!!"

That’s it…the trampoline has got to go!

Jojo said" that makes thirteen frogs, put that one back in the pond!!!"

You’re going to explain this one to your father, not me!

Jojo said" wait till your father gets home!!!"

Jojo said “no rough housing, play outside.”

Are you listening to me?

No more leap frog!

Can’t you get anything right? I said you had a frog in your throat and put your foot in your mouth.

Jojo said “I know you have selective hearing ,but this is ridiculous!”

what have I said about bringing frogs in the house?

I suppose this was your brothers idea too

The reason Stephan Pastis became a comic strip writer.

Howard! I told you to STOP stuffing frogs in your pants!

I don’t care what the coach says, get kickboxing out of your head right now mister.

You’re ear today, but you’re gone tomorrow.

See what happens when you go lending your ear.

You never listen! Not shoe tip, Q-TIP!

Well, that’s gonna leave a mark.

Frogs, snails, and puppy dog tails… Apparently that was only the half of it.

I know I told you nothing smaller than your elbow, but really?

Don’t look at me like you didn’t hear what I said.

Why do you boys want to wipe everything on your jeans!

Your Grandaddy wouldn’t be proud. This is not how you go frog giggin

This proves that everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other!

This proves that everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other!

The possibility of injuring his brother’s leg was the last thing that entered Billy’s mind.

Well, that twister game escalated quickly!

That is NOT how you play Leapfrog!

Just wait until your father gets home and don’t pretend like you can’t hear me, I said get that frog out of your pocket

At least it’s not stuck in the other end!

Well, you really got an earful this time!

Now, just look what you’ve done to Billy’s shoe!

Looks like your friend here is more slippery than that frog in your pocket.

“Bobby, putting a frog in your pants doesn’t make a pair of jeans turn into jumpers any more than shoving your brother into your skull makes me believe he’s been running through your mind all day.”

I guess video games ain’t so bad after all…at least less painful.

Son you don’t know an ass from a hole in your ear

Caption: How many times do I have to tell you, Gordo, don’t wear that yellow t-shirt when company comes!

I told you if you didn’t stop sticking jelly babies up your nose that this would happen!

Why is your conjoined brother’s face full of warts again? You know he can’t stand to see people looking like that?

Is that a frog in your pocket young man! What have I told you about frogs in the house!?

I don’t mind your friends hanging around, but one in the ear and one in the pocket….seriously???

If you’re trying to sneak your friends in, you’re going to have to do better than that.

What do you mean, you can’t hear me?

jojo said " The guy on tv said “do not try this at home.” you’re grounded for a month!!

I’ve told you a hundred times, QUIT PLAYING ON THE COUCH!!!!!!!

when tag team wrestling, ain’t you suppose to tag with your hand?

explain this one to your karate instructor.

why am I not surprised by this?

Again?!

Don’t look at me in the tone of voice… you know what you did wrong.

“Well, mum… we were playing leap frog when…..”

Johnny, that’s not a wet willie.

And I suppose if all your friends wanted to play Oedipus Rex??…

Jojo said " the first day of summer vacation…what are you going to do the rest of the summer?"

I see dad gave you an earfull, now it’s my turn

didn’t I tell you and your brother NO rough stuff

1. Billy was no good at reading lips.

No playing leap frog on the couch! With you, everything goes in one ear and out the other.

You aren’t fooling anyone Mister. I can see the frog in your pocket!

Hope he doesn’t (fart/pass gas/poop/flatulate).

How many times have I told you to use protection when doing Otic sex.

Huh… I wonder if anybody will come up with a caption idea…

Holy Holsteins on a hot, buttered bun! I hope you’re all having fun! Keep the submissions coming!!

And thanks for looking at this ridiculously uncoordinated cartoon.

Thom

I thought I told you not to play leap frog when you have too much on your mind!

Hop to it young man. March that frog out the door. BOTH of you.

There you go again: only half your brother on your mind when you were supposed to look after him!

I told you to keep your brother on his toes to help him get a leg up, not on his head with his hands down! Leapin’ amphibians, what next?

Don’t think that pulling a stunt like this will keep us from having frog’s legs for dinner tonight, young man.

We are having Toad-in-the-Hole for dinner tonight, not toad in the pocket. Tell your friend he’s invited.

The nickname for Quentin is Q-Ball not Q-Tip.

Am I to assume you did this by your lonesome? Well, you and the frog in your pocket?

Did you seriously just say, “I can’t hear you Berta, I’ve got Hannah in my ear!”

So this is what you meant when you said you loved stuffing!

I have told you to not wax your bother’s shoes. You always get carried away.

If I wasn’t going to let you do the arrow through the head costume, what makes you think I’m going to be okay with this one?

Well, Mr. Canibal, I can clearly tell you that you’re not eating right.

Hey, I thought we agreed that this one was mine!

Norman, I know we live in an apartment with no backyard to bury things, but this isn’t woking.

Why is it that you always claim to have something in your ears when I’m talking to you?

“You only whistle when something is up and I’m going to find out what! You just try and stop me!”

No, when I said I wanted a Stomp-head – I meant the Guitar amplifier.

You need to watch better at concerts for quickly incoming crowd surfers.

I’m telling you that in a few weeks he’ll work himself out. Look how far he is already!

Can you hear me now?

Jojo said " Johnny, get your foot out of your brother’s ear and take out the trash like I told you….Donnie, put that frog outside",

Does that magic book have an undo chapter in it? If not , go get me the crowbar out of the shed and leave the frog outside .

A fog in your pocket, your brother in you ear… what’s next…your sister in your nose???

Do you think I’m blind…I see that frog in your pocket.

I can’t imagine why you have a headache.

That frog best not be squished…I ain’t cleaning out that pocket.

That explains the frog parts in the laundry.

Jojo said" All this time I thought it was bee’s wax on the couch."

And the talk about “the terrible twos”

Jojo said " FROG, stays…BOYS, get out!!!"

And to think I wanted girls…silly me!!!

I gave up being a nun for this?

I should have listened to my parents when they said “get a dog”, and I thought they were joking.

Jojo said " And to think…that generation is going to be running our country…we have a better chance with the frog".

No more sleepovers for you young man.

I leave you boy’s alone for a few minutes and look what happens.

I should have listened to your father when he said he’d rather have a boat.

No you can’t sit on the left side of the car on the way to the hospital…your brother would flap like a flag in the wind.

Jojo lasher said" stop showing off that 3-D tattoo of your brother on your leg and sit up right.

Looks like the apple did not fall far from the tree.

That’s it…when your father gets home…he’s getting a vasectomy.

And I fought so hard for custody…what was I thinking?

I don’t care if it was a bet…you’re grounded until your grandkids grow up.

And how did that work out for you?

Well there is a bright side to this…we’ll save on Q-tips.

you’re in serious trouble… what have I told you about putting frogs in your pockets.

Jojo Lasher said" I understand the frog in the pocket, but your brothers foot in your ear?

Jojo Lasher said " you boys go to your room and stay there until you figure out what you did wrong…that will give me time to watch a movie or two!!!"

it would probably be less painful if you would have put the frog in your ear and your brother in your pocket.

Jojo Lasher said " you boys march outside and come back in like gentlemen… and lose the frog."

First the tats and then the piercings, when will it end?!? . . . . . ☻

which one of you boys opened the can of stupidity ?

Now that you’re back to normal, you’d better stay that way!

At least, Junior, it’s bigger than your elbow.

Teenage mutant Ninja frogs, my ass!

I don’t care if they followed you home…you can’t keep them.

It’s a good thing his foot want all the way through…you would probably get something else stuck in your other ear.

When I said I wanted us to be more connected as a family, this isn’t what I meant!

I know I’ve said you two are one in the same, but…

Something tells me you’re trying to hide something from me.

I don’t care how much you don’t like it, you must follow the new catcher interference rules, when a runner is sliding in to home from third!

Jojo lasher said" What is your recent infatuation with your brother’s ears? This is third time this week this has happened."

If you think for one moment that the frog is going to stay in this house young man…you are badly mistaken.

Jojo said,I have one nerve left and you boy’s are on it.

Okay, which one of you didn’t clean up in the kitchen?

Do your parents know you’re here?

Well, I’ve heard of putting your foot in your mouth, but having someone stick their foot through your ears just so you don’t have to hear my eternal, confounded nagging is the last straw.

Jojo lasher said kids aren’t what that use to be.

Jojo lasher said" these boys are perfect candidates for birth control posters."

Jojo lasher said, you two whack-a-doodles get outside and take that slimy frog with you.

Jojo lasher said your father and I obviously didn’t think this through.

Whoa! I got so excited about the captions, that I didn’t even notice all the faces in Mama’s hair!!! You got me, Thom!

I don’t care if this is the latest fad going around, the answer is still NO!!!

Why can’t you guys be like the rest of the kids and play video games all day in your rooms?

Quit playing around and go take your shower.

Do I really look like I’m in the mood for this?

All right…you got my attention…What do you want?

So, I see you still want to be a stuntman…how is that working out for you?

Now I understand why the nurse was laughing when she handed you two to me and said "double the fun , double the pleasure and double trouble.?

I said “Open MOUTH, insert FOOT”

This explains why at the baby shower I got three pry bars.

What would you done have done if you were triplets?

I’m afraid to ask where your brother is.

That’s what you get for fighting over that frog.

What is wrong with sitting side-by-side?

If the shoe fits, you don’t want to hear it.

Why are you always marching to the beat of a different eardrummer?

I’m going to count to ten and you better have that fog out of the house!!!

Is that a frog in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Stop fighting and share the frog.

Just a reminder to everyone -

The caption contest ends today – 10PM Pacific Time.

Thanks for all of your participation!

I will announce the three top captions in the comments on Tuesday, May 27th, and voting will take place on Tuesday, so get ready.

Thom

Despite his mother’s scolding, this incident was the inspiration that young Escher needed.

Clean your ears out Son, I’ve told you, no pets allowed in the house!

I know Boys will be Boys but this time you’ve gone a little too far!