Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for October 27, 2014
Transcript:
halloween spooktacular 3 short tales of terror man: eeek house of creeping cottonballs a kindergartner brings home an innocent-seem-ing class project that comes to life, expand-ing uncontrollably until the whole house is a heaving mass of cottonballs, glitter & glue! woman: eeeek cat: please, i'm trying to read. strings the uncanny nap this lady wakes up from a brief nap to find herself in a parallel universe where cats control all the media! garfield is twice as ubiquitous & advertising is done with dangly pieces of string! man 2: eek lower level you are here hell cinnabon parking lot mall of the damned a guy goes to the mall to take ad-vantage of a sale on men's pants. but he gets lost & wanders for days! then he finds a map that says he's in hell! and all the pants on sale are relexed fit wide-wale corduroy in "sphagnum green"!
puddlesplatt about 10 years ago
bought 4 pair, good price, just hope i grow into them?
aerilim about 10 years ago
At least there’s a Cinnabon in hell, mmm, sweet sticky buns..
Sisyphos about 10 years ago
I’ll never make it to the Mall of the Damned, because I’m all stuck up in these cottonballs and glitter, and some uppity cat is trying to bat me around! (That’s the trouble with anthologies.)
gijoe76 about 10 years ago
It is said the first tale originated in Alice Otterloop’s bedroom one halloween, a she tried to decorate her own costume.(ref: Cul de Sac)
PoodleGroomer about 10 years ago
It’s an easily identifiable urban legend tale because men don’t go to clothing sales, anywhere, and don’t spend more than 15 minutes shopping except at hardware stores.
Wallaby about 10 years ago
Teehee!
Malcolm Hall about 10 years ago
I brought a couple of those cottonball horrors home myself.