Drabble by Kevin Fagan for October 22, 2014

Crying over time wasted in doing something correctly is a waste of time that could be spent doing something correctly with the new method.

I’ll bet she still puts tabs in her computer files by hitting the spacebar over and over, though.

We bought an apple slicer, removed the core and everything. It lasted for about 3 apples, then fell apart.

Wait! Does that mean my mushroom slicer will slice eggs too?

Eww sliced mushrooms! Ewww mushrooms period! I loathe mushrooms, they’re disgusting!

I’ve tried this, and found that mushrooms are somewhat tougher than eggs. Inevitably one or more of the slicing wires breaks on the mushrooms. Maybe I need to buy a more heavy duty model.

I don’t mind slicing mushrooms or most things with just a sharp knife (even though I have a good mandolin and food processor). It is actually neater- and tomatoes, depending on ripeness, need to be sliced with a good serrated knife.

Question: why does Ralph never call his wife by her name? Or does Kevin Fagan even remember giving her a name? (It’s June, according to Wikipedia BTW).

Bigger question is how June can afford to use mushrooms on Ralph’s salary as a mall cop.

I tried it. It doesn’t work. And the mushroom shredded my egg slicer. (Not that I used it very much anyway). Two of the wires snapped, so don’t do it.

Ralph nows works for the TSA.

This woman is certifiably nuts. And don’t blame it on Ralph, she came into this nuts, from a family of nuts.