Imagine This by Lucas Turnbloom for January 14, 2015
Transcript:
Clovis: Tis a new year. So for all you new readers, allow me to introduce myself. The name is Clovis, and I'm the star of this comic. I've been around since 2007 that's five years longer than other nameless crass, inebriated, plus bears. Five. Yeeeep. Five. ...But I digress.
Patjade almost 10 years ago
Should have taken Ted to task, Lucas. You had them dead to rights.
Tue Elung-Jensen almost 10 years ago
But how long in total?
cleokaya almost 10 years ago
Wa cherished title, I am sure.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Calvin and Hobbes found Clovis-Rex drinking vodka and shrinking back into Clovis. After pouring vodka down his throat, he became addicted to vodka. It may prevent him from turning back into Clovis-Rex, maybe.
Mikel V almost 10 years ago
Yeah, you tell ‘im, Clovis!! Are you hearing, Mr. McFarlane? An acknowledgement to Lucas’ works would be fine in “Ted 2”
Dry and Dusty Premium Member almost 10 years ago
Okay Clovis, put the Vodka away now, my dear little nasty bear! :-D
Logan9778 almost 10 years ago
You forgot to tell them you also take more vacations than the POTUS.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Clovis isn’t here today because he went out to get more vodka.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
All the liquor stores are closed. Clovis will not stand for this. He picks up a rock and smashes the window. The alarm goes off, but he doesn’t care. He needs his vodka fix. Even if he has to turn back into Clovis-Rex, he will have what he wants.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Clovis has entered the liquor store and is looking for vodka. There is none !!!! He glances at the counter and sees a large order by someone named Lucas. The rage is too much. Suddenly, Clovis-Rex emerges and wreaks ravage on the liquor store. He heads out to find this Lucas fellow. There will be no mercy when Clovis-Rex finds Lucas. Whatever his last name is. There will be no mercy !!!!!!
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Clovis-Rex is, it starts with a “P”. With his now mighty arms, he destroys the liquor shop and heads out to find this guy named Lucas. He doesn’t know where he lives and doesn’t care. Even if the entire city is destroyed, he will find the one who has his vodka. That Lucas fellow had better call Calvin, Hobbes and the aliens from the planet Dorx. Unless, he wants to feel the wrath of Clovis-Rex. Robert the plant may have gotten off easy. It was one quick chomp.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Clovis-Rex has excellent smell. He can even smell vodka. He looks around and sees a man running into a subway entrance. It’s that Lucas fellow. A roar escapes the mouth of Clovis-Rex and destroys all buildings around him. He must get Lucas before he gets on the subway to escape. Lucas has called Calvin and told him why he is running from Clovis-Rex. Upon hearing that he has vodka, Calvin tells him he can’t help because Susie won’t let him drink alcohol. He’ll have to call the aliens from the planet Dorx. Calvin also tells Lucas that they will want some of the vodka.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Calvin, attempting to keep Bacon out of this fight, is calling the space aliens to come here to help. The aliens have developed a new weapon based on singing love songs to Clovis-Rex. It has the sound of Justin Bieber. The space aliens who tested it are still in intensive therapy. On Earth, that Lucas fellow is running for his life. Clovis-Rex has picked up his scent. He needs that vodka, now!!!!!
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Lucas turns and sees sees Clovis-Rex. The high pitched scream almost beaks the glass in the adult book store. He is frozen in place. Suddenly, Calvin flies down and starts firing. The disruptor rays knock Clovis-Rex off his feet. Lucas starts to run, stumbling from drinking the vodka. He drops on of the bottles and it breaks. The aroma draws Clovis-Rex to the broken bottle. He sucks up the vodka, bottle and all. Then, spits out the glass at Lucas, barely missing him as he rounds the corner. Clovis-Rex starts after him.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Lucas, now so afraid, that he wishes Clovis had been drawn nicer. Now, it’s too late. Clovis-Rex is hungry for human flesh, especially if that human flesh has vodka in it. The space aliens from the planet Dorx have also arrived. They start blaring Justine Bieber love songs at Clovis-Rex. He screams from the pain. The problem is that the songs also make the humans scream. Lucas ducks down in the subway tunnel, trying to escape the torturous love songs.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
The Justin Bieber love songs are having a negative effect. The public is screaming from the pain. The aliens are wondering why Clovis-Rex isn’t turning back into Clovis. Then, they look closer. Clovis-Rex has plugged his ears. The love songs have no effect. Somehow, they have to get those ear plugs out. They call Calvin. “Calvin, the monster, Clovis-Rex is wearing ear plugs. Can you think of something to get them out”? Calvin sees them. He thinks he has a way.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Calvin has to fly away for a minute to reverse the disruptor ray gun. As he looks back, he sees Clovis-Rex rip a building apart looking for Lucas and the vodka. The space aliens continue to fire their weapons. Alvin sees the wormhole open and Hobbes come out with Susie and Bacon. Calvin knows that they will need Bacon to sing Justin Bieber love songs to defeat Clovis-Rex. Even so, Calvin worries about their safety.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
On board with Hobbes, Bacon goes to a separate section of the space craft to practice her Justin Bieber songs. Even there, Hobbes can hear them and cringes. If they can get the ear plugs from the ears of Clovis-Rex, it will shrink him back into Clovis. Clovis-Rex is ripping the subway apart, looking for Lucas and the vodka. If he has to rip the entire town apart, he will his vodka.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Bacon tells her dad, “daddy, swoop down and and then pull up real quick. It will pull the ear plugs out of his ear”. Calvin smiles, knowing that Bacon is following in her father’s footsteps. He flies down to Clovis-Rex to have the ear plugs pulled out of his ears. Clovis-Rex is too quick for them. He hits the space ship and it goes down. Bacon screams, fearing for her dad. Hobbes flies down and barely misses the mighty claws of Clovis-Rex. He stops and Calvin jumps on board. Bacon is happy to see him.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Hobbes swoops in and rips the other ear bud from the Clovis-Rex. Clovis-Rex swings and hits the space ship. It wobbles but doesn’t go down. The public will have to deal with what is about to happen, but it will defeat Clovis-Rex. Bacon turns the highly amplified speakers on. There will be years of council problems for the public. Bacon starts to sing Justin Bieber love songs. She could hear the screams.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Bacon is continuing to sing the Justin Bieber love songs. Clovis is screaming in pain. He is also shrinking. She looks at Calvin. He is in a daze from the songs. Bacon can not give up. Clovis makes one final hit at the space ship. He hits it and it crashes in front of Clovis. Bacon walks out, dazed, but still singing. Clovis-Rex tries to reach his ears to cover them, but he can’t reach them. He screams.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
The screams from Clovis-Rex stop Bacon from signing. It was only for a moment, but it gave Clovis-Rex time to stuff two people in his ears to drown out the Justin Bieber love songs. Bacon looks into the eyes of Clovis-Rex. He has an evil smile on his face. Just then, Hobbes and Susie swoop down and distract Clovis-Rex and on the return, they stop for an instant and pick up Bacon.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Hobbes looks down. Clovis-Rex is back to his original size before Bacon started singing to him. He drops in front of Calvin. Calvin did not stand a chance. He disappears into the mouth of Clovis-Rex. Bacon screams, but can do nothing about her daddy. Hobbes sees the space aliens and one of them sacrificed himself by ramming his space ship into Clovis-Rex. Calvin comes flying out. He has passed out from being in the mouth of Clovis-Rex. He lands on the rubble, not moving.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Clovis-Rex bends down to eat Calvin again. While he is bending down, Bacon opens the door on the spaceship that Hobbes is flying. Susie sees her open the door. “Bacon, don’t you dare jump out”. Bacon turns to her mom. “Daddy is in trouble. I know how to help him”. She jumps out, falling on Clovis-Rex as he bends down to eat Calvin. She lands on the back of his neck and hangs on. Then, she start singing Justin Bieber love songs. Clovis-Rex screams from the pain. He can’t reach back to grab her. It also makes Calvin regain consciousness. He holds his hands over his ears to block the sounds.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Bacon still sings Justin Bieber songs into the ear of Clovis-Rex. He starts to shrink. That guy named Lucas watches from the subway entrance. He still has a great fear of Clovis. Clovis-Rex is still shrinking and finally returns to just plain Clovis. The space aliens cheer. The reason is because what they ate of Clovis-Rex made them all sick. There will be years of therapy for the people in the town, trying to get the sounds of the Justin Bieber songs out of their heads.
katina.cooper almost 10 years ago
Clovis-Rex continues to scream in pain from the love songs. One last shutter and he returns to just plain Clovis. That Lucas fellow who took all the vodka has promised that Clovis will get all the vodka he wants. If not, he knows what will happen. Three bottles later, Clovis is back to his normal disgusting self. Calvin takes him to the spacecraft. Hobbes, Susie and Bacon are taking him back to his home. That Lucas fellow will have to find his own way back. Dropping Clovis off at his home, they fly away, back to Pleasantville. They still have so much work to do. Most of the town is still destroyed. But, at least they have a way of defeating Clovis-Rex. They will not hesitate to use it again. And unfortunately, they may have to..Maybe the end.