Baldo by Hector D. Cantú and Carlos Castellanos for April 01, 2015

not the kind of car you’d expect to build

The original 3-d printer car concept.

A sedan? That’s not what I was expecting from you, Baldo…but you get points because it’s a low-rider.

I bet each catalog has a page with a part on it to build the car with.

The first day I got me a fuel pumpAnd the next day I got me an engine and a trunkThen I got me a transmission and all the chromeThe little things I could get in my big lunchboxLike nuts, an’ bolts, and all four shocksBut the big stuff we snuck out in my buddy’s mobile home.

Now, up to now my plan went all right‘Til we tried to put it all together one nightAnd that’s when we noticed that something was definitely wrong.

The transmission was a fifty threeAnd the motor turned out to be a seventy threeAnd when we tried to put in the bolts all the holes were gone.

I see now.

I once worked in a college mail room. Every fall, J. C. Whitney and Warshawsky catalogs would start coming before mail boxes had been assigned.