Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for April 26, 2015

Transcript:

Narrator: Rip has slightly injured himself after jumping out of a crashing plane. It happens! Breezy: Where does it hurt? Rip Haywire: It'd be easier to tell you where it doesn't. Spoiler alert: My earlobes! Breezy: Where are we? Rip Haywire: Hopefully somewhere with a lot of drugstores. I need a lot of buffering, stat! Breezy: I'll need to find us shelter... it's gettin' dark. Rip Haywire: PHEW! I thought that was my eyesight going. Breezy: Rip, I like that you're big and strong, but dragging you around a mountain is the worst. Rip Haywire: Well, I'm sorry that I saved us by jumping out of a plane. Next time, I'll just let us crash, so you won't strain yourself! Breezy: Rip, look on the horizon, a camp. Rip Haywire: Breezy, if I move my neck a little, you're not going to like having to clean my short. Breezy: I'll go check it out... wait here. Rip Haywire: You say that like I have a choice! Breezy: Rip, I found an abandoned camp. Let's look for some medical supplies. Or some booze, your shoddy girly scout stretcher is killing me! I'm sorry, did you say something about my awesome stretcher? Rip Haywire: T-top- notch design... really soothing on my terrible injuries! Breezy: Believe it or not, you have not broken bones, Rip... but you're leg is pretty swollen... Rip Haywire: I'm so sore... this drafty camp isn't helping.