Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal by Zach Weinersmith for May 14, 2015

Or: “Define ‘dessert.’”

Or, “I never had dessert with that fork.” Or, “If you like your dessert, you can keep your dessert.” Or even, “What difference does it make?”

Just because it looks like a delicious desert doesn’t mean it isn’t a terrorist. You cannot take these threats lightly.You will have to accept my word that what I have done was done in the best interests of the greater good and the highest ideals were the basis of all intentions upon which actions were taken. And I would like another, non-terrorist slice of cake, since that one was not good, at all.

Operation Dessert Shield.

Sure, blame the victim.

A few good layers.