PreTeena by Allison Barrows for March 31, 2021

hm

Christ Mass, actually

And a future FOX viewer is born.

The only War on Christmas is the conflict stirred up by the religious right, for the purpose of increasing its sway over its blind, unthinking, followers.

this concept in song…. https://binged.it/3sG0AFc

Happy Holydays?

“While Shepherds washed their socks by night, all seated round the tub, and angel of the lord came down and they began to scrub.

At least that was the version I learned in compulsory religion class …

Sing the religious songs in church and the secular ones outside.

“Jawas roasting on an open fire,Sandman picking at his nose,Jedi carols being sung by a choir,And folks dressed up like C3PO’s.

Everybody knows that matte lines and that old blue fill,Help to make this film look right,Tiny little ‘droids, LEDs all aglow,Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Obi-Wan is on his way,He’s loaded daddy’s old light saber on his sleigh,And every Storm Trooper is going to spy,To see if Jedi really know how to fly.

And so, I’m offering this simple phrase,To Han and Luke and Chewie too,Alhough it’s been said many times, many ways,May The Force Be With You."

words by Linda Von Braskat-Crowe

Sung to the tune of The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting)

They could still do Jingle Bells, Deck the Halls, Happy Holidays, Frosty The Snowman, etc. If they want to go for Christmas-specific songs, add in a couple of more diverse options and it would be fine (the dreidel song, maybe something from Kwanzaa, etc)

Since we are on the subject of “politically-correct” Christmas music, I am going to make a prediction.

Here are the familiar lyrics from “The Christmas Song”:

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

Jack Frost nipping at your nose.

Yuletide carols being sung by a choir.

And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Now that the term “Eskimo” has been redefined as derogatory, I can picture the lines being rewritten to read:

Yuletide carols being sung by a choir.

And folks dressed up in winter clothes.

I’m not making an issue of this, just a prediction. If this comes to pass, I called it back in November 2020.