The Dinette Set by Julie Larson for November 19, 2017

I hate to ever agree with the Pennys about anything…

but really, a wedding invitation used to mean “We’d love to have you with us.”

A gift was implied, to be sure…. but never mentioned in advance…

And a registry at a local department store, listed their silver and china patterns, so you could buy four place settings, or just one spoon.

 

When did an invitation begin to demand quid pro quo… or far beyond?

I know upscale weddings can cost a small fortune….

but I’d like to think the couple is pleased to treat their guests, and share their joy.

 

Instead, whether the happy couple and their families are providing a $45 catered meal and fine champagne in a beautifully decorated venue,

or a paper plate of Mom’s cookies and potato salad in the back yard…

a ransom note is left at half a dozen stores, with strict instructions as to what represents proper tribute to be paid.

 

For the last wedding I attended, a copy of the couple’s “Wish List” was conveniently included

right in the envelope with their amateurishly computer-printed invitation.

It directed me to registries at Macy’s and Nordstrom.com, … and Target..

and the “suggestions” included the brand names of electronic gear, specific kitchenware….

and a $35 floor mop!

 

Because the bride was the daughter of a friend who has done me many favors over the years,

I played along…

I bought something from the list I really couldn’t afford….

and the sales person gently reminded me that the bride had requested that the item be sold along with another related gift….

and, a bit more politely than Burl…. I had to say “Sorry, this is it.”

I don’t go to many

Weddings myself. But I also agree with Burl. Let someone else get the other bowls.

I overheard an engaged couple arguing rather loudly over the colour of an electric mixer to put on their list – sniping and name calling. I’d have been surprised if that wedding lasted longer than the reception. Wedding, not marriage – there’s a big difference.

I’ve only been to two or three weddings. One was family, another was a co-worker of my mothers. They were so long ago I don’t think they used bridal registries.

I agree with Burl. It’s a wedding to celebrate the starting of a new life together for two people, not a shakedown.

It is a two way street. On one hand, maybe people should quit putting on $50,000 weddings they can’t afford, and I wish they’d stop having weddings in places that require me to travel and take a mini vacation just to attend. I can’t spend my money that way. On the other hand, buying someone one mixing bowl out of a set – and people here justifying that? – just screams ‘cheapskate’. It’s the start of a couple’s married life, spending $50 or $75 is far from unreasonable.

Bridal registries were first instituted to try to insure that the couple didn’t get four toasters and no saucepans. They have got far out of hand today.

The bowl in Joy’s hand has a price tag on it.

They’re not demanding to buy one bowl out of $20 set (surprisingly enough.)

It’s a $20 open stock bowl that matches other bowls….

 

Granted, they’re buying the cheapest…

But any guest might buy just one, to help complete the set…

as is done with the sterling.

 

I’ve recently had to forgo attendance at two weddings,

both times because I couldn’t afford a plane ticket, a hotel, and a registry gift for a well-off couple in their 30’s with expensive tastes.

 

When a couple would rather have a dream wedding Hawaii, or a $250 appliance, than have me there,

I feel perfectly justified in staying home and merely sending a card.