The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for January 09, 2016

No,no! The cop’s supposed to ask that question of the M.E.!

The 18-wheeler tire marks gave it away.

So in other words, natural causes.

’Dillo death! Not good for your vehicle either.

Shouldn’t the one under the sheet be flatter?

Never saw an armadillo until I moved to Georgia. Over the last 20+ years I have seen a lot – but always dead. Still haven’t seen a live one out walking around.

If they are in Texas, it my be a dead Amarillo armadillo.

GOSH!

there are no comments of sorrow for the dead animal… rest in peace.

Gosh?

Armadillos are peculiar and amazingly destructive.People who have never seen an armadillo can get their noses broken by bending down to take a closer look because armadillos can jump straight up several feet.

And if you happen to have one wedged into a tight spot in your bedroom because those damned dogs chased it into the house, and you put on heavy gloves and try to grab it by the tail and haul it out, it will kick up with its hind legs and spray urine all over everything.

I understand that jumping is a startle reflex, so they jump up and get hit by the bumper or the grille, rather than being run over.

Here in Georgia, its the same thing with ’possums. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the ’possum it could be done.

The armadillo’s principal predator is the coyote (or coydog hybrid). If pursued, they wait until the last minute, then jump straight up. The coyote runs under them and they start digging in, which they can do with amazing speed except on pavement. It is an effective tactic against coyotes, but not against vehicles..While nocturnal, I did see a pair at 2:00pm once. I stood very still and one came within a couple feet of me before deciding I didn’t smell like a tree, grunted, and both ran off. Even if you should see a live one, don’t expect to be so lucky..The proper collective is armada, but it is rare that you see more than a pair or a sow with four identical quadruplet young. They taste like pork rather than chicken, and during the early ’30s depression, the meat was called Hoover hog..More free Hippogriff trivia (and worth every cent of it).

Wouldn’t that be considered Natural Causes!

Never a gun shot. After all, who in their right mind would arm a dillo?

Up North it’s porcupines — when threatened they stop, turn around and raise their tails. Canadian museums are filled with skins of tailless porcupines.

JP SteveSince they have little visible hair, we have the right to bare amadillos.