Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 22, 2016

He has a muzak implanted in his brain with music he likes.

Does he have his own inaction figure?

We have enough “hold” superheroes. We want no more. We want “Now” superheroes!

Hope that costume has lots of padding on the bottom !

Wait till his “service” rep answers and he can’t understand a work they say.

So his name is “Hold?”

Now, Hold on here! I hate being on hold as much as the next Cartoon-Boy fan, but is Hold’s patience really a superpower?

I thought maybe “Hold” meant that he could drink three beers and not use the men’s room until he gets home.

The cell phone battery usually gives out by the time I get an answer.

I put it on speaker and go about my business.

And so the day is saved thanks to “hold.” “Hold” away!

Yep. That’s what I would call a hero.

xxx

It’s not a superpower; it’s a stuporpower!

I’m imagining him with Adam West’s voice!

“Hold” the Mayo