Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 19, 2017

I don’t give a “rat’s asterisk” is probably more of a euphemism than a dysphemism, right?

My Aunt Fanny said it’s so.

The purpose of dysphemism is to dyspheminise.

… I’ve watched too many beer commercials to know that true friends use dysphemisms all the time…

… you know what I’m talking about you butt fingerers…

… is that a horse or a dog?…

… I’m going dog… now we know the sound of one hand clapping…

… we have the frog, but hold the applause until the end …

Was a sunny day

Not a cloud was in the sky

Not a negative word was heard

From the people passing by

Was a sunny day

Backdoor number one.

A person’s use of dysphemisms is inversely proportional to their self-esteem. (My subject and predicate don’t agree in number, I know, but I didn’t know how else to express it without being sexist.)

We usually do suppositories one at a time.

Euphemistically speaking, I think three fingers of the same hand up three different species of asses at the same time is probably illegal in at least 14 states. Has something to do with molestation, bestiality, and public ickiness.

Was that sufficiently dysphemic, or do I have to put it in even grosser, more explicit language?

Prison joke number three.

How do you know if you are a pirate?

.

You just arrrrrrrr!

Dashed to fix the rear end, except the garage closed for the evening..