Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for December 28, 2017

It’s 2 AM, eh?

Look out for the cucumber.

Our cat will get up from a sound sleep to do that and then immediately go back to sleep. It’s like, “Omigod! I’m supposed to be napping somewhere else now.”

Somewhere out there, there is a cat deity that controls the location of sleeping cats.

And then catapult himself into the clothes hamper.

Go for it, man! It’s inscrutable hijinks like those that are half the fun of having cats around.

Then it’ll be time to stare up at a spot on the wall for a while.

His Fitbit told him he needed to do 250 steps that hour.

It must be their version of “restless leg” syndrome.

Then I’ll need to be let out the door, then back in, then back out, then back in, for no apparent reason.

The cat goddess is called Bast or Bastet. Presumably, from what an Egyptian said when he tripped over the cat

But you have a cordless phone (or a cel phone).