Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 13, 2018

Rat, the pilot intends to eat you after you pay him.

Me woondah eef stoopeed Larry ees pylut, zeeba neighba.

Did Rat steal that helmet from Beetle Bailey?

Thought rat was guard duck for a sec.

In response to the Dr. Pepper 1960s/70s commercial jingle reference yesterday, I wouldn’t have known; I wasn’t born until the 80s and I don’t drink D.P. (my late mother, a majority of her nieces/nephews as far as I know, and my stepmother drink it… I’m more into Sprite). No comment to this “Pearls” strip though.

I’m pretty sure New Zealand has a strict border policy against letting non-native animals into the country.

This would be exactly the kind of preparations Rat would make. He would never even consider other people as conscious actors in the whole scheme, let alone consider the consequences for them. Which is why he would be completely left in the lurch. They would take him for the sucker that he is, fleece him for anything he had, and leave him to the vultures.

Rat’s plan has one flaw…the pilot should be a female…

Costco actually has prepper food plans where you can buy a year’s worth of food. I’m pretty sure it is Costco.

Next week, Rat will be a Preppy sporting a blue blazer with gold buttons and penny loafers.

Always the problem…If the pilot knows where your going he doesn’t need you.

What if your pilot is a terrible navigator and he lands you in Venezuela? They don’t have enough food there for 10 days, let alone 10 years. I hear they Rats for breakfast there.

He will probably sing that I’m a prepper song until his ears fall out. Poor pilot.

Rat’s looking a bit like Hunter Thompson. That’s appropriate.

Let’s eat Steve.Let’s eat, Steve.

Punctuation saves lives!

Let’s eat Steve.Let’s eat, Steve.

Punctuation saves lives!

Inhumane? He’s a rat!

That’s what dogs fear the most – a cat-astrophe!

Zebra’s back! :D

I hear New Zealand is lovely after the apocalypse, if its volcanoes don’t all go off at once. But don’t worry about the hot, scalding pyroclastic flow, Rat, because your plane will probably go down in a remote part of the South Pacific, thanks to a scrawny, unhappy pilot….

Preppers are more concerned about surviving a catastrophe than working to prevent one in the first place.

New Zealand replies, “Bugger off!”

An here we are 2 years later. Why isn’t Rat in New Zealand now?

Isn’t that what all the rich did during Covid?

Dear past, NZ is not the refuge you’re imagining it to be. It’s a disturbing and dysfunctional state in this woke and weary wasteland of a world.