Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 15, 2018

Hadn’t thought of it as either/or like that.

What about the guy who is both?

I expected three doors. One that’s too tall, one that’s too wide and one that’s just right.

There are Big & Tall stores everywhere but what about for Short people?

Should say Big or Tall.

Should say Big or Tall.

There’s no such thing as one size fits all. Why bother using the term. Can you imagine a one size fits all speedo?

From one of my favorite guilty pleasure movies:

“Hi there. Are you a large person? Pleasantly plump? A little on the hefty side, perhaps? Well, let’s face it: Are you FAT? When you go jogging, do you leave pot-holes? When you make love, do you have to give directions? At the zoo, do the elephants throw YOU peanuts? Do you look at a menu and say ‘OK’? Well, now, you can eat all you want, because at Thornton Melon’s “Tall & Fat” stores, we’ve got you covered. That’s right. Fine woolen, and woolen-blend suits and sport coats, in all the larger sizes – husky, stout, extra-stout, and the new Hindenburg line. And for you ladies we have caftans, muumuus, and our own exclusive A-frame in all colors and patterns. Yes, we have miles and miles of fabric. So take it from me, Thornton Melon, if you want to look thin, you hang out with fat people."

As in John H., perhaps?

I find my size greatly simplifies shopping — find the one pair of pants (or shirt) in the store that might conceivably fit me and decide whether I would be caught dead in it! Purchase (or not) as sensibilities dictate.

What about short and cute (like me)?