The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for April 15, 2018

You’re lucky, man. A family of trumpeter swans moved into the apartment above me. They’re up all night with their jazz and their swing. With their Herb Alpert and their Dizzy Gillespie. Don’t they realize not everyone likes Louis Armstrong?

I would say that that’s not the ASL gesture for Whoop, but they’re probably using American Swan Language.

Are they all asking “Who cut the cheese?”

I don’t get it.

The place is nicer than the usual swan dive.

It must be their swan song!

So they’re swan mimes? Yikes!

but if a mute swan sang a swan song in the forest, would anybody hear it?

Apparently, armpit noises are capable of expressing the finest shades of meaning. They could be discussing Hegel’s critique of Kant’s epistemology

What is the air velocity of a swallow?What? European or African?I don’t know……arrrrrrrrrrrrr

You guys are too much today!

Are you guys sure? Their ‘arms’ aren’t really in their armpits though.

@Grover No, I think it’s more about the place of bisubsequentialism and pedantic speedometer in Lower Slobovian poetry. Or, as @Mr_Sherman suggests, an inquiry into the origins and explosive power of present-day broken wind. That’s what I would gesture about if I were being asphyxiated.