Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 28, 2018

The drinking never stopped.

My work day, exactly.

When does the drinking start, Pig, The beginning of the day. He’ll waste seven hours drinking, then he’ll think he’s productive for one hour. Knowing Rat and the way he drinks, that one hour will be spent talking to john.

Pig asks the most important question.

Chapter Two: The hundred-proof solution to writer’s block.

Diary of a Frustrated Failing Rat

Actually the 1 hour being productive will be used to get more beer

Achievable goals! That’s a good start.

Pro Tip: you can’t drink all day unless you start in the morning.

Papa Rat…

All play and no work make Rat a dull rodent

All play and no work make Rat a dull rodent

All play and no work make Rat a dull rodent

Heck, when does the wit start?

Who’s the person closest to Rat? Is he talking proximity?

The bottle comes out with the cleaning kit for your shotgun … at least if you follow Hemingway rules.

And if you really want to be a writer, you are doing all this on Christmas day …

I like to start with a nice breakfast beer, something that goes well with corn flakes…

Wow, Rat is ambidextrous, yesterday he was writing with his left hand and today with his right !! Very impressive. I wounder if Mr. Pastis is ambidextrous as well. As you know, only left handed people are in their right mind!!!

Sorry Rat, that book’s already been written. https://www.amazon.com/Bullshit-Jobs-Theory-David-Graeber/dp/150114331X

Perfect! Which is ironic…

The Hemingway school of drunk writing doesn’t exist. It has never existed for those who are successful professional writers. It’s an exaggeration that justifies drunk losers whining about their “art” being too good for the public and editors. A real pro writer, these days, has a full time job because writing pays less than it ever did, they come home and, if they have a family, they spend time with them, and after everyone is asleep or before everyone wakes up, he writes a few hours. The only drink is coffee.

Writing is hard; drinking is easy. The person not writing but drinking is a daydreamer, not a writer. But…we all get to choose our own favorite daydream!

Goat is being sarcastic, but in an " Oh s…..t" way.

Rat’s ink-smudged professionalism is obvious to all. That Pig is an unthinking Enabler is also quite clear.

What are we drinking?

The seems like Pastis describing himself.