Close to Home by John McPherson for October 16, 2018

Maybe I should try that. I just had to replace my ink.

He also works on octopuses. This is the best new-age fix-it service since “Leo’s Psychic Auto Repair” in Farley.

He still needs to draw a pentagram on the paper-out tray before the spell will work.

Candles, pleas, offerings, … phooey! I found threats worked very well. Electronic gear like computers, printers, etc. If they just kept screwing up for no apparent reason, I used to ask them if they were thirsty and offer a glass of water. I tell ya, that worked more often than it didn’t.

Can’t SOMEBODY come up with a universal override button to bypass all those crippling messages like low ink when it’s not, or paper jams that don’t exist, or lids/covers that are open but aren’t? AAARRGH!

Mine has been saying, Replace Photo Element for the past 5 years.

Whisper, heck yell and scream at it! Makes you feel a lot better though doubtful it will resolve the error messages.

Don’t anthropomorphize computers. They hate that.

The printer read the document you wanted to print detailing it’s replacement. This is a protest move.

Convincing an HP printer that it did indeed have paper in it turned out to be beyond his ability, however.

Maybe the little Alien is drinking it!!!

I have smashed a printer with a four pound hammer…. and it felt GOOOOD.

Sometimes I let my cat bang at it; sometimes it works!

I would threaten it with having Alice come over with her fist of death and beat it to a pulp.

Hi Little Alien Dude!!!!!!!!!!! Looks like you’ve started a fashion trend! :)

The solution is in Office Space.

A little percussive maintenance will sometimes work wonders