Herman by Jim Unger for February 24, 2019

If he was a week late he’d already be dead.

Use the old standby:Don’t pay the ransom … I got away!"

The customer is always right.

I love to buy flowers for my wife and don’t need an occasion or a reason. I just do it because she loves to receive them.

However, I had an ex-wife who, went we were married, would always be suspicious if I bought her flowers. Her usual remark was: " They’re beautiful …What are you up to and what did you do wrong ? "

Women’s affection can be bought with flowers? Doesn’t work at my house.

Dead on, Bro!

In that case, she’s paying for.

If as man meets another man in a flower shop and it’s not right before Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day, you can start a conversation with “So, what’d you do?”