Dark Side of the Horse by Samson for April 01, 2019

I did much the same thing once in Hiawassee, Georgia, when I was 11 or 12 years old. After we (members of the local Lions Club chapter and their children) unfolded and set up 5,000 folding metal chairs for the Georgia Mountain Fair (long before it became the huge venue it is today), I walked over to give two horses in an adjacent pasture some potato chips from the bag I’d bought. A boy’s voice behind me said, “Hey kid, can’t you read?!” I stepped back—and only then did I see the hand-made “Don’t Feed the Horses” sign, hanging on a fence wire, which I had been leaning against while I gave the horses their treats…

Horace could have some fun here by painting, “Pegasus was here! How about some apples?” over the sign. The non-quadrupedal-stance, yet equine, hoof prints, and the lack of any horse’s teeth-cropped grass, would be consistent with a winged horse doing multiple “touch-and-go” landings, then painting the message with a paint brush held in his teeth…

‘Replace all divots’

Years ago, when I delivered flyers, I would walk right up to the mailbox and see “No Flyers” in tiny letters on it.

They got you good, Horace.

As Marion Barry once said, “Bit** set me up!”

That’s a relief… I thought it said “No Horses”…!

Methinks they should’ve put up a slightly bigger sign…

Got that sign from the old man’s yard did ya?

Don’t go up to the sign! IT’S A TRAP!

Must not be in Colorado.

Now that he got there, he could next do that old hare trick. Walking backwards and carefully step his old hoof prints. Then hiding behind a bush nearby and see what happens…

This is mindless bureaucracy at work. Someone was told to put up the sign but wasn’t told where to put it. To be on the safe side the flunky placed it in the middle.