Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein for May 18, 2019

{face palm}

The wrong right answer (right wrong answer) “It wassn’t your butt I was checking out.”

Tony asked, about 4 hours ago

What’s up?

Wow. And I thought her question above was a mood killer. Silly me.

“5) just answered your question.”

Men should never answer that question. There is no right answer. Women shouldn’t ask it. That’s not playing fair.

Yes, very big.

Answer: What does that shirt have to do with your Butt???

I dunno why that question is such a problem.

We women know enough to lie when confronted with unanswerable questions….

I mean, was there ever a woman who would say “Yes” to “Did he do it better than me?”

( Whatever it was! I’m talking about building cabinets, writing comments on GoComics…. loading the dishwasher… get your mind out of the gutter!)

Answer the same way you’d answer “Am I getting more wrinkles on my forehead?”

“Is Emily’s coffee/pot roast/cherry pie better than mine?” “Is she prettier than me?”

Honesty is NOT called for…. what you’re looking for is happiness and harmony…

if truth won’t give you that…. LIE.

Does it really make YOU happy, if she knows you think Emily is prettier, but it makes her cry?

About as happy as it makes YOU to know that her ex did a better job of…. um… fixing the brakes.

Don’t panic….

There’s only one answer to “Does this ___ make my butt look big?”

To quote Nancy Reagan, of all people….

“Just say NO!”

Like a caboose, Jumbo the elephant’s, a grizzly bear butt, a beached whale, Shaquille O’Neal got nuthin on you.

Feel better now?

Does it make your butt look big? I dunno, take off your skirt and let me see. Now, for comparison, take off the shirt and let me see.

I would not mind some clothes that make my butt look big(ger). My butt is pretty much non-existent. There was a time in my youth when a flat rear end was desirable, but nowadays, it seems like all the young girls want something larger.

My sweety always tells me the truth & I usually concur!

When I was 9 or 10 my aunt came over to our house and asked me how I liked the new hat she was wearing. Upon hearing my answer my father took me aside and explained what a white lie was and why it was OK. ;-)

What I want to know is what is the appropriate answer if you’re asked that question by a Kardashian?

Well, yeah it does, but your big head makes up for it. [I am so dead.]

my answer…no your butt makes your butt look bigger…hoping for a 4th marriage one day

Fishing for compliments is not good. One either hears lies or truth. Either may hurt. I wear and style to please my self, husband next. Everyone else? Whatever…That said, I’m very weary of this joke

What’s up? The ceiling, the attic, the roof…

I have never been asked that, but then, I have often spoken the term, “fine fat.”

I think an enthusiastic, “Mmm, yeah!” would work well.